I can't believe there are only 2 hours left in May. This is the last week of school for Bunch & Gator, and it's slated to be chock full-o-stuff. Doc has three weeks left till he finishes his third year of medical school. Since he gets a 2 week break, we will be taking off for a little family time while he's free. This year we'll be doing an RV road trip to Yellowstone National Park. A friend has generously offered us the use of his RV for the occasion. We're excited to travel in such a fun vehicle.
The past weekend has been a blur. I flew to California on Thursday to attend my sister's graduation. As president of her fan club, I was so excited to be there to celebrate with her. She and Doc are neck in neck in the "who can earn the most degrees" contest. I'm not sure who will ultimately win that one, but the tendency to acquire long-strings-of-letters-after-their-names is only one of the ways that I seem to have married the male version of my sister. Man I adore them both!
Speaking of adoring. Summer looms, and with it I'm aware that Bunch & Gator will need to have some structure and order in their lives if we are to thrive and not just survive the long blocks of time together. We'll be doing some traveling together, but I need to plan some fun things for the days we're home together. Some moms are really organized about their kid's summer time. I'm not so much. But I'd like to do better this year than I have in years past. I'm increasingly aware of the fleeting nature of my time with these precious souls I'm raising. How quickly their childhoods are flying. It may not seem like it to them now, but someday when they have their own children, they'll know how I'm feeling right now.
So if you have any happy ideas on how to spend the lazy days of summer that helps keep them lazy, but fills them with worthwhile memories at the same time, please do share. I love hearing how other people have done it.
Blessings:
1) Advanced degrees
2) Sisters
3) Coming home again
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Do you ever have days...
...when you know that it's probably just hormones? Cause yesterday I had to tell myself about every 12 minutes "it's just hormones. I'm sure it's hormones. It's probably hormones. It must be hormones," and so forth. This little pep talk went on all day.
I'm trying very hard to be aware of the smoke and mirrors effect that a few body chemicals can have on me, and to not let a foggy mood have undue influence on any decisions I make. I just rode it out yesterday. Here's hoping today isn't quite as foggy!
Blessings:
1) I'm making this today, and serving it in bread bowls.
2) Flight benefits on lots of airlines.
3) The chirpy birds on my deck right now.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Frenzy
There seems to be a movement lately, of people getting into the business of couponing.
Historically I've ignored coupons. Growing up, my family never subscribed to a paper, and neither have Doc and I...so the whole Sunday coupons thing has been absent in my life. But a few months ago a friend of mine pointed me towards a blog dedicated to this whole New Way Of Couponing thing, and I admit I was intrigued. That blog led to others, and now I have a whole slew of blogs I've subscribed to touting the virtues of couponing, and sharing upwards of 50 posts a day on "deals" they've been alerted to.
These are the types of people who show up at the register with a cart overflowing with products and when they walk out of the store they've actually made money. Of course they have to send in a bunch of rebates and whatnot, but once they are reimbursed, they got all that stuff for free, plus some extra moolah in their pocket! Or on a less fruitful trip, they spent $32.19 but saved $498.69 on their purchases. Which admittedly is very impressive.
In the past, figuring out how to do this kind of shopping would be almost impossible. But with the Brave New World of internet tips, the whole thing has been turned upside down.
I've been reading a few of the blogs related to couponing for a several months now, and it's been tempting to jump in and join the fray. After all, there are "Newbie Tutorials" that promise to get you up to speed step-by-step, so that you too can be a crazy-penny-pinching-super-saving-savvy-coupon momma (or poppa).
Step one to winning big in the coupon game is that you have to get the Sunday paper coupons. And if you really want to be successful, they recommend you purchase at least FOUR copies of it. Allegedly, you will MORE than recoup your investment in money saved by having all these coupons.
Alternatively, you can buy blocks of coupons for specific products you use on eBay. Who knew?! But that requires being really on top of things. There are people who purchase hundreds of sets of Sunday papers, and then batch the coupons together, and then sell them online. You can get a bundle of 25 coupons for $.50 off Dish Detergent for $3.00, and then when that dish detergent goes on sale a few weeks later, with a register-printed "Catalina" (those coupons that spit out with your receipt) , you stock up on detergent which ends up being like $.03 each after all your hard work.
It exhausts me to think about it.
My questions don't center on whether it's A) legal B) moral or C) fair (though how annoying to "regular" shoppers who just want to get their one box of crackers that aren't available because the crazy coupon people bought 30 each). There have been plenty of posts dedicated to how the coupon industry works and the stores participation in them and how they get reimbursed blah blah blah. My question is whether or not this is a wise use of my time. Sure, even without the coupons in my hot little hands I've still managed to get in on a few great deals just by hearing about sales I otherwise wouldn't have known about. I recently purchased 40 boxes of Post Selects cereal...kinds I never treat myself to such as Blueberry Morning, for like $.73 a box. I wouldn't have known how to do that without these various sites guiding me. And I'm grateful, because cereal is the one prepared food we eat around here on a regular basis.
The guidelines have indicated that "You will be going shopping a lot". But will I be purchasing stuff I would otherwise not purchase? Will I be stockpiling things that I won't use? Where would I put all this stuff? Am I doing all this just so I have more to donate to the Boy Scouts or homeless shelter food drive? Is the food that you get these deals on mostly prepared foods or could a person eat mostly healthy and fresh foods? Will I eat more if I do this? How much time, TOTAL TIME, will it take? How much organization and focus will I have to employ to benefit from it. Is there any way to be a "moderate" couponer? Is this a cult? :-)
It's been such a frenzy around me lately that I thought I'd write about it. Don't know what I'm going to end up doing. Maybe I'll find a happy medium. I just hate having money and stuff be a major focus in my life, even while I'm committed to being a wise, prudent steward over what I've been blessed with.
Blessings:
1) Springtime
2) Dinner with my lovely inlaws last night for Doc's 40th birthday.
3) The happy song Bunch wrote that is running on a loop through my mind.
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Countdown Begins
Hello Gems!
In 365 Days, I'll be married to an MD.
In 300 Days we will find out where Doc matched for Residency.
In 28 Days Doc will finish 3rd year of medical school.
In 10 Days Bunch will graduate from elementary school.
In 10 Days Gator will finish third grade.
In 7 Days I'll be the fan club as my sister graduates with her MFA.
Pretty soon they'll all have more degrees than me ;-)
BLESSINGS:
1) Education
2) Crepe Parties with friends
3) .99 cent Slurpees all Memorial Day weekend long at our local 7-11
♥, Jeuls
In 365 Days, I'll be married to an MD.
In 300 Days we will find out where Doc matched for Residency.
In 28 Days Doc will finish 3rd year of medical school.
In 10 Days Bunch will graduate from elementary school.
In 10 Days Gator will finish third grade.
In 7 Days I'll be the fan club as my sister graduates with her MFA.
Pretty soon they'll all have more degrees than me ;-)
BLESSINGS:
1) Education
2) Crepe Parties with friends
3) .99 cent Slurpees all Memorial Day weekend long at our local 7-11
♥, Jeuls
Death By Chocolate
I thought I'd post last night, but it was just late and I was completely tuckered.
We had a fabulous celebration if I do say so myself. And it's just the first one...there will be more fun to come over this long weekend.
For dinner, I made Indian food...Chicken Curry served with rice and curry naan (a favorite around here) which I don't do often because of the time-intensive nature of it, but I sure love that stuff.
And then we had The Cake. It was so amazing that I plumb forgot the fruit sorbetto that I'd purchased to go along with it. Doc pronounced it the most beautiful and amazing creation yet. I'm so glad he liked it! Happy Birthday to my Sweetest! ♥
Pictures, followed by the recipe for those who are interested. Feel free to skip.
Blessings:
1. Chocolate
2. Fruit
3. Four decades of life
DETAILS:
In a springform pan (which I purchased just for this occasion), I baked an extremely rich fudge brownie. When it was done baking, I cut Priulene-type cookies in half and created a "fence" around the pan, sticking them into the brownie. Then I made a truffle filling using 79% cacao gourmet chocolate bars which I chopped up instead of chocolate chips. This was some rich chocolate truffle. I spread half of it on the brownie layer and chilled it. Using the other half of the truffle, I whipped up some sweet cream and mixed it with the truffle, to create a mouse layer on top of the truffle layer. Then I topped that with a sweet cream layer.
After chilling the cake for 5 hours, I mounded it with fresh strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. After releasing the springform pan, I tied a slim ribbon around the cookies for decoration. Just before presenting it, I spent an hour (kidding!) adding the candles. Good thing our rogue smoke detector is missing it's batteries right now, or we'd have had the fire department visiting (and they'd have probably eaten the rest of the cake). I swear it weighed about 18 pounds...and now I weigh a bit more, too. Sigh.
Here's How I made it: It took me many hours.
ORDER OF OPERATIONS (to help you in planning your time).
Bake Brownies.
While brownies are in the oven, cut cookies in half.
While Truffle layer is chilling, wash the fruit. Place gently on paper towels to dry. I put mine in the freezer for a while to firm up and stay cool.
When Truffle is chilled, pour 1/2 on brownie.
Make the cookie fence.
Whip the first batch of sweet cream and add it to remaining truffle mixture.
Layer it on top of the truffle layer.
Make the 2nd batch of sweet cream and layer it on top of Mousse layer.
Chill for at least 4 hours.
After chilling, add fruit.
Remove the springform pan side.
Tie ribbon around cookies.
If you're doing candles, I used a little pin to carve out space in the tops of the cookies to create a hole for the candles.
RECIPE:
FIRST LAYER: BROWNIE BOTTOM
However you want to do this is up to you. If you have a killer homemade brownie recipe, more power to you. I personally felt just fine using a Ghiridelli Ultimate Fudge Brownie mix. You can use any brand you like, but make it using the fudge, not cake, recipe.
CRITICAL POINT: Bake in a 9 or 10 inch spring-form pan. You'll never get this cake out of a pan otherwise! Be careful not to over bake your brownie. Brownies don't look totally baked when you should take them out of the oven, but they cool to perfect doneness. Let the pan cool a bit, and then put it in the fridge to continue chilling.
SECOND LAYER: TRUFFLE
1/3 cup water
1 envelope unflavored knox gelatin
1 T Nutella. Oh Nutella!!!
1 1/4 cups butter. None of that margarine nastiness here.
12 ounces of the highest-quality chocolate you can afford to buy. I got 79% cacao gourmet bars and chopped them. You could downgrade and use something like Hershey's semi-sweet chips. You could. But if you're trying to impress anyone...
3/4 cup sugar
5 large egg yolks (get rid of all the whites)
3 Tablespoons water
2 teaspoons vanilla
First, chop the chocolate with the sugar till reasonably fine. I used my VitaMix Blender for this, but you can certainly use a food processor if you're the lucky owner of one.
Next, you place 1/3 cup water in a heavy 2-quart pan, sprinkle with gelatin. Let stand for 2 minutes, until gelatin is softened. Add butter and Nutella; heat, stirring, until mixture is boiling, butter and Nutella are melted, and gelatin is dissolved.
Now, with the VitaMix running, I poured the boiling butter mixture into chocolate mixture and processed it until the chocolate was melted. Whatever you're using, the goal here is to just get the chocolate melted to a satiny smoothness.
Then added the egg yolks, sugar, vanilla and 3 Tablespoons water to the chocolate mixture; process until smooth.
Now pour the mixture back into the saucepan and cook, stirring, over medium heat until it thickens.
Next, pour chocolate mixture into a large bowl. Place this bowl in an even larger bowl of ice and water to chill. Stir often until thickened.
Once it's thickened, place half of the chilled mixture over the cooled brownie in pan. Leave the other half chilling in the ice water for now.
NEXT STEP: COOKIES
2 cans of Pirouline-style cookies. I actually used Pepperidge Farms brand, which come in assorted flavors. I got Chocolate and Hazlenut...they make Vanilla too if that excites you. One can would barely be enough to get around the whole cake, and a number of them were broken so I'm glad I got two cans. Plus, Leftovers! (we never buy cookies around here)
Cut the cookies in half so they are about 2 1/2 inches long. Stand them up around the edge of the spring-form pan, with the bottom of the cookies resting in the truffle layer. Makes kind of a "fence" around your cake.
NEXT STEP: MAKE BATCH ONE OF SWEET CREAM
1 C heavy cream
1/4 cup of powdered sugar
Pour 1 cup of heavy whipping cream in a chilled bowl and beat until stiff with mixer.
Once it forms peaks, add 1/4 cup of powdered sugar and beat until very stiff.
THIRD LAYER: MOUSSE
Gently fold the remaining chilled truffle mixture into the sweet cream and mix till blended to a consistent light brown color. Spoon this mousse mixture on top of the truffle layer.
FOURTH LAYER: SWEET CREAM
Whip up your second batch of heavy cream (same recipe as above) until very stiff and place on top of the mousse. This can be piped on to make it look more decorative if you don't plan to hide it with fruit like I did.
If not putting fruit all over the top, you could garnish the cream with chocolate curls or shavings at this point. Either way, put the cake in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours until firm, or overnight.
FIFTH LAYER: FRESH FRUIT
Place the fruit of your choice (I used strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and blackberries. But sliced kiwis or mangoes would be awesome too. Whatever floats your boat.) on top of the Sweet Cream layer, arranged however you like.
FINAL STEP:
When ready to serve, remove spring-form ring from base. Wrap a ribbon around the cookies and tie in a bow.
WARNING: Before cutting this cake, you should be aware that it is one of the densest and richest things you will ever have the pleasure of savoring. Cut wedge shaped servings - 2, 3 or 4 cookies wide depending on each guest's appetite! Two was plenty for me. Doc had a hard time finishing a 4-cookies-sized wedge. I think sorbet or sorbetto would be the perfect compliment to this cake...assuming you have enough room left to accomodate it.
Serves at least 12 gluttonus pigs, but you could feed about 24 reasonable people with it too. Mine was 51 cookies around.
We had a fabulous celebration if I do say so myself. And it's just the first one...there will be more fun to come over this long weekend.
For dinner, I made Indian food...Chicken Curry served with rice and curry naan (a favorite around here) which I don't do often because of the time-intensive nature of it, but I sure love that stuff.
And then we had The Cake. It was so amazing that I plumb forgot the fruit sorbetto that I'd purchased to go along with it. Doc pronounced it the most beautiful and amazing creation yet. I'm so glad he liked it! Happy Birthday to my Sweetest! ♥
Pictures, followed by the recipe for those who are interested. Feel free to skip.
Blessings:
1. Chocolate
2. Fruit
3. Four decades of life
DETAILS:
In a springform pan (which I purchased just for this occasion), I baked an extremely rich fudge brownie. When it was done baking, I cut Priulene-type cookies in half and created a "fence" around the pan, sticking them into the brownie. Then I made a truffle filling using 79% cacao gourmet chocolate bars which I chopped up instead of chocolate chips. This was some rich chocolate truffle. I spread half of it on the brownie layer and chilled it. Using the other half of the truffle, I whipped up some sweet cream and mixed it with the truffle, to create a mouse layer on top of the truffle layer. Then I topped that with a sweet cream layer.
After chilling the cake for 5 hours, I mounded it with fresh strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. After releasing the springform pan, I tied a slim ribbon around the cookies for decoration. Just before presenting it, I spent an hour (kidding!) adding the candles. Good thing our rogue smoke detector is missing it's batteries right now, or we'd have had the fire department visiting (and they'd have probably eaten the rest of the cake). I swear it weighed about 18 pounds...and now I weigh a bit more, too. Sigh.
Here's How I made it: It took me many hours.
ORDER OF OPERATIONS (to help you in planning your time).
Bake Brownies.
While brownies are in the oven, cut cookies in half.
While Truffle layer is chilling, wash the fruit. Place gently on paper towels to dry. I put mine in the freezer for a while to firm up and stay cool.
When Truffle is chilled, pour 1/2 on brownie.
Make the cookie fence.
Whip the first batch of sweet cream and add it to remaining truffle mixture.
Layer it on top of the truffle layer.
Make the 2nd batch of sweet cream and layer it on top of Mousse layer.
Chill for at least 4 hours.
After chilling, add fruit.
Remove the springform pan side.
Tie ribbon around cookies.
If you're doing candles, I used a little pin to carve out space in the tops of the cookies to create a hole for the candles.
RECIPE:
FIRST LAYER: BROWNIE BOTTOM
However you want to do this is up to you. If you have a killer homemade brownie recipe, more power to you. I personally felt just fine using a Ghiridelli Ultimate Fudge Brownie mix. You can use any brand you like, but make it using the fudge, not cake, recipe.
CRITICAL POINT: Bake in a 9 or 10 inch spring-form pan. You'll never get this cake out of a pan otherwise! Be careful not to over bake your brownie. Brownies don't look totally baked when you should take them out of the oven, but they cool to perfect doneness. Let the pan cool a bit, and then put it in the fridge to continue chilling.
SECOND LAYER: TRUFFLE
1/3 cup water
1 envelope unflavored knox gelatin
1 T Nutella. Oh Nutella!!!
1 1/4 cups butter. None of that margarine nastiness here.
12 ounces of the highest-quality chocolate you can afford to buy. I got 79% cacao gourmet bars and chopped them. You could downgrade and use something like Hershey's semi-sweet chips. You could. But if you're trying to impress anyone...
3/4 cup sugar
5 large egg yolks (get rid of all the whites)
3 Tablespoons water
2 teaspoons vanilla
First, chop the chocolate with the sugar till reasonably fine. I used my VitaMix Blender for this, but you can certainly use a food processor if you're the lucky owner of one.
Next, you place 1/3 cup water in a heavy 2-quart pan, sprinkle with gelatin. Let stand for 2 minutes, until gelatin is softened. Add butter and Nutella; heat, stirring, until mixture is boiling, butter and Nutella are melted, and gelatin is dissolved.
Now, with the VitaMix running, I poured the boiling butter mixture into chocolate mixture and processed it until the chocolate was melted. Whatever you're using, the goal here is to just get the chocolate melted to a satiny smoothness.
Then added the egg yolks, sugar, vanilla and 3 Tablespoons water to the chocolate mixture; process until smooth.
Now pour the mixture back into the saucepan and cook, stirring, over medium heat until it thickens.
Next, pour chocolate mixture into a large bowl. Place this bowl in an even larger bowl of ice and water to chill. Stir often until thickened.
Once it's thickened, place half of the chilled mixture over the cooled brownie in pan. Leave the other half chilling in the ice water for now.
NEXT STEP: COOKIES
2 cans of Pirouline-style cookies. I actually used Pepperidge Farms brand, which come in assorted flavors. I got Chocolate and Hazlenut...they make Vanilla too if that excites you. One can would barely be enough to get around the whole cake, and a number of them were broken so I'm glad I got two cans. Plus, Leftovers! (we never buy cookies around here)
Cut the cookies in half so they are about 2 1/2 inches long. Stand them up around the edge of the spring-form pan, with the bottom of the cookies resting in the truffle layer. Makes kind of a "fence" around your cake.
NEXT STEP: MAKE BATCH ONE OF SWEET CREAM
1 C heavy cream
1/4 cup of powdered sugar
Pour 1 cup of heavy whipping cream in a chilled bowl and beat until stiff with mixer.
Once it forms peaks, add 1/4 cup of powdered sugar and beat until very stiff.
THIRD LAYER: MOUSSE
Gently fold the remaining chilled truffle mixture into the sweet cream and mix till blended to a consistent light brown color. Spoon this mousse mixture on top of the truffle layer.
FOURTH LAYER: SWEET CREAM
Whip up your second batch of heavy cream (same recipe as above) until very stiff and place on top of the mousse. This can be piped on to make it look more decorative if you don't plan to hide it with fruit like I did.
If not putting fruit all over the top, you could garnish the cream with chocolate curls or shavings at this point. Either way, put the cake in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours until firm, or overnight.
FIFTH LAYER: FRESH FRUIT
Place the fruit of your choice (I used strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and blackberries. But sliced kiwis or mangoes would be awesome too. Whatever floats your boat.) on top of the Sweet Cream layer, arranged however you like.
FINAL STEP:
When ready to serve, remove spring-form ring from base. Wrap a ribbon around the cookies and tie in a bow.
WARNING: Before cutting this cake, you should be aware that it is one of the densest and richest things you will ever have the pleasure of savoring. Cut wedge shaped servings - 2, 3 or 4 cookies wide depending on each guest's appetite! Two was plenty for me. Doc had a hard time finishing a 4-cookies-sized wedge. I think sorbet or sorbetto would be the perfect compliment to this cake...assuming you have enough room left to accomodate it.
Serves at least 12 gluttonus pigs, but you could feed about 24 reasonable people with it too. Mine was 51 cookies around.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
It's Birthday Eve for Doc...
...well technically it's after midnight, so it's now officially Doc's birthday. Yay! I've been lonely in Club Forty without him.
Bunch's book arrived in the mail today. It's a proof copy, so we'll be making some edits to it. If you haven't heard of the online Print on Demand (POD) services, they're pretty great. We used Lulu.com to publish hers. They make it pretty easy. Once she's finished the other parts (this was just Part I of III) and it's edited and whatnot, she'll make it available for purchase. So cool.
Since my last post I've been busy boomeranging back and forth from sea to shining sea, spent some time being sick, and now I'm home and behind on the housekeeping and yard maintenance. But I'll be gearing up for the celebration of two-score years of The Glorious Life Of Doc tomorrow. Pictures will follow...
♥ to all!
Bunch's book arrived in the mail today. It's a proof copy, so we'll be making some edits to it. If you haven't heard of the online Print on Demand (POD) services, they're pretty great. We used Lulu.com to publish hers. They make it pretty easy. Once she's finished the other parts (this was just Part I of III) and it's edited and whatnot, she'll make it available for purchase. So cool.
Since my last post I've been busy boomeranging back and forth from sea to shining sea, spent some time being sick, and now I'm home and behind on the housekeeping and yard maintenance. But I'll be gearing up for the celebration of two-score years of The Glorious Life Of Doc tomorrow. Pictures will follow...
♥ to all!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Shout Out for Bunch the Writer
Good morning my little Gems,
For today's random topic I shall regale you with BunchkinTales.
My daughter Bunch is a writer. Even though she's never taken a writing course beyond your basic elementary school curriculum, we are constantly amazed at the stories, poems, songs, and ideas she comes up with. It's Doc's opinion that of all her many talents, writing is her greatest innate ability, and I'd have to agree.
When she was eleven, Bunch wrote a song. It wasn't the first one she's written, but this particular song has a catchy little tune and a great message. She's been working on piano accompaniment for it recently.
Right before bed last night we were chatting about making a music video of her song, and then I dreamed that we actually did! It starred lots of the kids at her school, and because of that she decided to enter it in the school talent show (which will be held before the end of the school year). It was a big hit with everyone. At least in my dream. Maybe we'll have to find a way to do it as a project. That'd be fun. Any of you have mad video skills?Also when she was eleven, Bunch started writing a novel based on an imaginative game she and Gator made up and play together. In their game, they are both elves, and have various powers which they use during their assorted adventures. Her ideas for the book are drawn from their play sessions, and for this reason she's dedicated the book to her brother.
This week she finished writing Part One of the book, which is called Conquest. There is an optional program in the 6th grade here called University of Learning in which the students who participate can earn any of the four degrees (Associates, Bachelors, Masters and Doctorate). Bunch decided to earn a Ph.D. with a focus on writing fiction. Students can do their degree on any subject they like, and have various requirements for each degree. For the Ph.D., a "product" is required, and she's submitting Part One of her book.
The entire project is due tomorrow, and she's worked really hard to finish all the various components of this degree. She volunteered at the Ronald McDonald House for the community service component, did online research, interviewed one of her favorite published authors, read books on writing, and wrote and wrote and wrote. Part One of Conquest is nearly 10,000 words long.
Though it wasn't required for the school project, I designed a cover for her book tonight. Once she's finished writing the other parts, we'll have to print some up for gifts to her fan base. I know at least one boy who would be very excited to get a copy! ☺
(PS: Her name isn't actually Bunch Kin...but "Bunch" looked kind of odd all by itself so I added "Kin" just for my blog version of the cover. Also, as it turns out, my last name isn't actually Jeuls, but wouldn't that be cool if it was?!)
Blessings from today:
1) Talents
2) Walks with Doc for Slurpees at 11:00 pm cause 7-11 never closes
3) Six weeks left till Doc finishes 3rd year!
For today's random topic I shall regale you with BunchkinTales.
My daughter Bunch is a writer. Even though she's never taken a writing course beyond your basic elementary school curriculum, we are constantly amazed at the stories, poems, songs, and ideas she comes up with. It's Doc's opinion that of all her many talents, writing is her greatest innate ability, and I'd have to agree.
When she was eleven, Bunch wrote a song. It wasn't the first one she's written, but this particular song has a catchy little tune and a great message. She's been working on piano accompaniment for it recently.
Right before bed last night we were chatting about making a music video of her song, and then I dreamed that we actually did! It starred lots of the kids at her school, and because of that she decided to enter it in the school talent show (which will be held before the end of the school year). It was a big hit with everyone. At least in my dream. Maybe we'll have to find a way to do it as a project. That'd be fun. Any of you have mad video skills?Also when she was eleven, Bunch started writing a novel based on an imaginative game she and Gator made up and play together. In their game, they are both elves, and have various powers which they use during their assorted adventures. Her ideas for the book are drawn from their play sessions, and for this reason she's dedicated the book to her brother.
This week she finished writing Part One of the book, which is called Conquest. There is an optional program in the 6th grade here called University of Learning in which the students who participate can earn any of the four degrees (Associates, Bachelors, Masters and Doctorate). Bunch decided to earn a Ph.D. with a focus on writing fiction. Students can do their degree on any subject they like, and have various requirements for each degree. For the Ph.D., a "product" is required, and she's submitting Part One of her book.
The entire project is due tomorrow, and she's worked really hard to finish all the various components of this degree. She volunteered at the Ronald McDonald House for the community service component, did online research, interviewed one of her favorite published authors, read books on writing, and wrote and wrote and wrote. Part One of Conquest is nearly 10,000 words long.
Though it wasn't required for the school project, I designed a cover for her book tonight. Once she's finished writing the other parts, we'll have to print some up for gifts to her fan base. I know at least one boy who would be very excited to get a copy! ☺
(PS: Her name isn't actually Bunch Kin...but "Bunch" looked kind of odd all by itself so I added "Kin" just for my blog version of the cover. Also, as it turns out, my last name isn't actually Jeuls, but wouldn't that be cool if it was?!)
Blessings from today:
1) Talents
2) Walks with Doc for Slurpees at 11:00 pm cause 7-11 never closes
3) Six weeks left till Doc finishes 3rd year!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Parley's Nature Park II
At the risk of becoming known as the Crazy Creek Woman, I am posting for the second time in less than a week about Parley's Nature Park. Doc and I went back again for a walk on Saturday, and this time I brought the camera so I could capture a little bit of footage and photage. If you ever come for a visit, you can bet we'll be taking a walk to one of my favorite places together....so you may just get to fall in love with Parley's yourself someday.
The waterfall. Ahh, the sound of it!
Doc by the falls.
The peaceful creek
The kids here have made a dirt bike jump park all on their own here. The city had nothing to do with it. I just hope no one gets involved and tries to "regulate" this scene. We should all be able to just LIVE AT OUR OWN RISK.
The elusive voice of Blue.
The waterfall. Ahh, the sound of it!
Doc by the falls.
The peaceful creek
The kids here have made a dirt bike jump park all on their own here. The city had nothing to do with it. I just hope no one gets involved and tries to "regulate" this scene. We should all be able to just LIVE AT OUR OWN RISK.
The elusive voice of Blue.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Moms
Today has been a lovely mother's day. Doc got up early and went for a walk in the mountains, and picked a beautiful bouquet of wild flowers for me. Then he came home and made me a smoothie, and put together a gorgeous breakfast tray which he and the kids delivered to me in bed. He managed to find the most amazingly apropos card...so much so that I thought he'd written the sentiment himself and had it printed. And (hallelujah!) there was also chocolate. Then the kids cards and gifts were placed on the tray too. It was simply perfect. We had a very lovely day.
Twenty years ago, I awoke in the middle of the night with some words streaming through my mind. I've never been a "get up while it's dark" kinda gal if I can avoid it, but that night I was impressed upon to get up and jot down the words as they came to me.
I had never written a poem or anything of the sort before. In fact I wasn't into writing anything at that time. But I had just met Doc's mom during the previous year. In fact it was her birthday the day we met, and she won my heart forever when she told me "this is the best birthday gift I've ever received, a new daughter!" As I've previously written, I'd been essentially "up for adoption" for many years at that point, so I was more than happy to dive in and assume the role.
It was particularly touching to me to be welcomed into her life like that because her darling son, Doc, was about to leave on a 2 year mission to Argentina. Few girlfriends who "wait" for missionaries actually end up marrying them, but that didn't seem to hinder our relationship. Doc's mom became my mother figure, and she has blessed my life in countless ways through the past 20+ years. Here is the poem I wrote for her for Mother's Day twenty years ago. From a literary standpoint, I know it's not "good", but it did a reasonable job of expressing my feelings of that period in my life. And it's literally the first-draft. I just wrote it down and typed it up.
Thankfully she didn't hold my lack of poetic ability against me! Happy Mother's Day to all of you! ♥
1.) Gorgeous wild flowers
2.) Thoughtful notes from Doc & the angelkids.
3.) Good moms everywhere.
Twenty years ago, I awoke in the middle of the night with some words streaming through my mind. I've never been a "get up while it's dark" kinda gal if I can avoid it, but that night I was impressed upon to get up and jot down the words as they came to me.
I had never written a poem or anything of the sort before. In fact I wasn't into writing anything at that time. But I had just met Doc's mom during the previous year. In fact it was her birthday the day we met, and she won my heart forever when she told me "this is the best birthday gift I've ever received, a new daughter!" As I've previously written, I'd been essentially "up for adoption" for many years at that point, so I was more than happy to dive in and assume the role.
It was particularly touching to me to be welcomed into her life like that because her darling son, Doc, was about to leave on a 2 year mission to Argentina. Few girlfriends who "wait" for missionaries actually end up marrying them, but that didn't seem to hinder our relationship. Doc's mom became my mother figure, and she has blessed my life in countless ways through the past 20+ years. Here is the poem I wrote for her for Mother's Day twenty years ago. From a literary standpoint, I know it's not "good", but it did a reasonable job of expressing my feelings of that period in my life. And it's literally the first-draft. I just wrote it down and typed it up.
Thankfully she didn't hold my lack of poetic ability against me! Happy Mother's Day to all of you! ♥
Blessings:
MOMS
There are all kinds of moms in this world as we know it,
and each one is different in the way that they show it.
Some moms are dark skinned with chocolate brown eyes,
others come fair headed and make great apple pies.
Some moms give birth to their tiny wee babes,
but others adopt and give love all their days.
A mom can be found in all sizes, all colors!
She’s terrific at seeing the good things in others.
She can be very young-a new bride still be she,
or she’s found in great grandma, alive at ninety-three.
She’s alert night and morning-doesn’t count on sound rest,
but that doesn’t affect her looking always her best.
Her heart’s all encompassing, her time is all mans,
you can tell one’s a mother by seeing her hands.
From the young child who’s sick in the middle of the night,
to the older boy who gets hurt while he’s riding his bike;
from tea parties and fool hardy days in the sun,
to soccer games or school plays, she’s always on the run.
She’s a taxicab driver, a dance chaperone,
and is willing to have the whole ward in her home.
She’s constantly growing and changing her ways,
she sends children to college and hopes they’re okay.
She often times feels like she’s losing her mind,
and that’s usually when dad steps in and “makes it all fine.”
It’s hard every year to see her children get older
and seek out their own paths, and grow stronger and bolder;
and then comes the day when they return to their home,
but this time is different, for they’re not alone.
They’ve brought home a sweetheart who’s eagerly shy,
who hopes that her “mothers” love hasn’t run dry.
But never, oh never, would this be the case,
a mom always knows it’s hard to be in a new place.
So she goes right to work making life even better,
till the “new child” can’t imagine living life now without her…
and their relationship grows, of course it had a late start,
but in no time all you can’t tell it apart.
And that’s the most wonderful thing about mothers,
their ability to adapt and become moms to the others.
It’s a relationship much deeper than many on earth,
for a mom is a mother from her first breath at birth.
It’s a God-given blessing, a talent, a treasure,
and there’s nothing on earth that could possibly measure
or compete with the good that a mom brings to pass,
she controls the whole world in the child that she clasps…
For no government, army, or navy, or throne,
can compare to the power that one mother owns.
So the world goes around and comes back up again,
and it’s fair that a tribute be paid time without end;
each year we remember them on Mother’s Day,
and show honor and love in our actions and ways.
But one time a year is too small of a price,
for a mother is just, every day of her life.
So I want you to know, that though daily I hide it,
I can’t help but to tell you, I must now confide it;
Oh how lucky we are, and how blessed we have been!
You’re not only our mother, you’re also our friend.
And all through the years, through the rest of God’s time,
I hope as a mother, you’ll always be mine!
1.) Gorgeous wild flowers
2.) Thoughtful notes from Doc & the angelkids.
3.) Good moms everywhere.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wow.
This July will mark the 3 year anniversary of moving to Utah for medical school. Shortly after arriving, I discovered a creek near our home that became my favorite place in the area. There was only one eentsy weensy little problem: all the land along that creek is private property...it's tucked away behind people's homes and yards. There are only a few places you can actually see the creek that don't require trespassing.
As luck would have it, a year after we came, I found out that a friend owned one of the homes, which was vacant at the time, and he said it was fine with him if I visited the creek along his property. So psyched!!!!
I began to visit his patch of creek regularly.It is so gorgeous. I thrilled to the sound of the water, breathed deep, refreshing breaths of the perfect scent, dreamt of building a cozy cottage along it's bank and living there forever. It was one of my few places of peace and serenity.
Then my friend found some renters for the house, and I stopped feeling comfortable hanging out there. It's been about a year since I went there to chillax and enjoy the beauty, sounds, and scents.
So just imagine my extreme surprise when I discovered an even MORE amazing place tonight on a walk with Doc.
I've known about Parley's Historic Nature Park since we came here, but I had ventured only a few feet down into it during the daylight, and a little further in the dark when it was covered with snow this past winter. I was under the impression from a comment made when I first moved in, that since it was a very popular place for dog owners, the trail was a completely disgusting mess of dog poop! That there was so much poop everywhere it made it a really undesirable place to go. You'd be wading through poop if you went down in there.
As it turns out, I harbor a mild aversion to dog poop, and because of this I never ventured into the park. Even though Doc and both kids have been there. They're all big nature-lovers, and I figured they just enjoyed wandering around avoiding the heaping piles of steaming doggie dung. It'd be almost like playing frogger, trying to get through the park without touching the stuff.
Well first of all...no nasty poop everywhere. What was I thinking? Like anyone would ever go there if that were the case. Like I'm not feeling lame about that ridiculous impression right about now. And lamenting all these years of not enjoying this resource in my own neighborhood.
Second, WOW! It's spring, so everything is particularly breathtaking right now. It's all blooming and greening up, and then as you wend your way down into the gulch suddenly you hear it. Water. A swiftly rushing creek of snowmelt cuts through the middle of the park as it hurries on it's way.
NO ONE mentioned the water before. How is that possible?! Don't these people realize how avidly I am drawn to the creeks here? I don't know what it is, but I just LOVE them. I'm enchanted by them. I dream of them. I roll my window down and listen to them whenever I drive by them. I smell them. I don't believe I'll ever tire of the sound of them. I think they're magical.
So Doc and I had the loveliest walk exploring the park together. He's been through there countless times on his runs...but he hadn't been all the places we walked tonight. It was so nice to hike around and see everything coming to life. We followed the river to it's source, and then hiked back up out of the gulch and walked home.
I might just have a new favorite place.
Blessings:
As luck would have it, a year after we came, I found out that a friend owned one of the homes, which was vacant at the time, and he said it was fine with him if I visited the creek along his property. So psyched!!!!
I began to visit his patch of creek regularly.It is so gorgeous. I thrilled to the sound of the water, breathed deep, refreshing breaths of the perfect scent, dreamt of building a cozy cottage along it's bank and living there forever. It was one of my few places of peace and serenity.
Then my friend found some renters for the house, and I stopped feeling comfortable hanging out there. It's been about a year since I went there to chillax and enjoy the beauty, sounds, and scents.
So just imagine my extreme surprise when I discovered an even MORE amazing place tonight on a walk with Doc.
I've known about Parley's Historic Nature Park since we came here, but I had ventured only a few feet down into it during the daylight, and a little further in the dark when it was covered with snow this past winter. I was under the impression from a comment made when I first moved in, that since it was a very popular place for dog owners, the trail was a completely disgusting mess of dog poop! That there was so much poop everywhere it made it a really undesirable place to go. You'd be wading through poop if you went down in there.
As it turns out, I harbor a mild aversion to dog poop, and because of this I never ventured into the park. Even though Doc and both kids have been there. They're all big nature-lovers, and I figured they just enjoyed wandering around avoiding the heaping piles of steaming doggie dung. It'd be almost like playing frogger, trying to get through the park without touching the stuff.
Well first of all...no nasty poop everywhere. What was I thinking? Like anyone would ever go there if that were the case. Like I'm not feeling lame about that ridiculous impression right about now. And lamenting all these years of not enjoying this resource in my own neighborhood.
Second, WOW! It's spring, so everything is particularly breathtaking right now. It's all blooming and greening up, and then as you wend your way down into the gulch suddenly you hear it. Water. A swiftly rushing creek of snowmelt cuts through the middle of the park as it hurries on it's way.
NO ONE mentioned the water before. How is that possible?! Don't these people realize how avidly I am drawn to the creeks here? I don't know what it is, but I just LOVE them. I'm enchanted by them. I dream of them. I roll my window down and listen to them whenever I drive by them. I smell them. I don't believe I'll ever tire of the sound of them. I think they're magical.
So Doc and I had the loveliest walk exploring the park together. He's been through there countless times on his runs...but he hadn't been all the places we walked tonight. It was so nice to hike around and see everything coming to life. We followed the river to it's source, and then hiked back up out of the gulch and walked home.
I might just have a new favorite place.
Blessings:
- Parleys Historic Nature Park
- A really nice hike with Doc
- Insight
Monday, May 4, 2009
Depression
Good morning little Gems!
Today before school Bunch and I were talking, and she mentioned a billboard she saw that says something like:And then I read a poignant post about depression by a woman I greatly admire on a blog I read.
Reading the comments on that post made me feel like I've been behaving a bit like Golum most of my life, hiding out in the dark caves, in denial with myself about my depression.
Well, it's time to come out of the dark. (Oooh, bright light, bright light!)
Last October I wrote a post I titled "The Meadow", in which I described feeling happy. At the time I felt impressed that I needed to record those feelings, which I did in that post. (If you'd like to go read that post before you continue, I'll wait for you right here.)
Welcome back! Anyway, little did I know that less than two weeks after writing those feelings down, two things would occur that would throw me into a deep depression. We're talking the ultimate Funky Town.
In hindsight, I feel like that season of simple, daily happiness was a tender mercy from God, given to me so that I'd know that there was a different way to experience life. That some people feel happy like that on a regular basis. That my decades of feeling like I was dragging myself along wasn't the only way to feel.
My long-term bloggy buddies may recall that I "took a break" from writing for a few months, and kind of went into hiding for a while...wrestling with myself and what I was feeling. It's a common response to stress...fight or flight. I flew (naturally!)
I wasn't doing very well. In fact I kind of bottomed out for a bit there.
A few months ago, Doc, who was doing his psychiatry rotation at the time, wondered aloud if I was dysthymic.
"What's that?" I asked him. He told me to google dysthymia, which I did.
And I spent hours that day reading everything I could find about this condition. Because there was my Entire Life, defined in print.
Facing the news that I was depressed made me even more depressed. It felt like a personal failing on my part. Like something I should have been able to prevent, by just Thinking Better Thoughts, or Handling Situations Better. Being More Positive. Or Being More Grateful. Trying Harder. Or Eating More Chocolate (kidding).
Whenever I heard someone compare depression to diabetes, I focused on the more preventable forms of diabetes...the kind that the person contributes to because of their dietary and lifestyle choices. They, like me, should have done something to prevent it...right?!
Hearing about dysthymia was revelatory. I'd seen various counselors through the past 20 years, and NO ONE had ever mentioned it..which is shocking to me. I've felt this way as long as I can remember, till last fall when I had that season of Happy Blue, when I thought I'd somehow finally Arrived, and was Done With The Darkness. Forever!
It wasn't till that experience that I knew for myself a different way of feeling actually existed. I'd always compared my life to those around me, and figured that how I felt was as good as it gets.
But it's not.
Depression is NOT as good as it gets. Depression is like a gray film on reading glasses. It colors everything with a drab wash. And that's just the mild form of it. At times, the hopelessness and frustration can be so overwhelming that death seems like the only relief. Being severely depressed is like being in a smoke filled room, and it's killing you, but the only way out is to run through the fire. But you're terrified of being disfigured and destroyed...it seems much worse than the smokey room, so you stay put, slowly having the life choked out of you.
When I was growing up, I spent years praying every night that I would die in my sleep. I didn't want to commit suicide...I was sure I'd go straight to hell if I did that. And hell was pretty low on my sight-seeing list even back then. I was also afraid of pain, and was sure that dying was the most painful thing out there. But I was so sad all the time, that death seemed like the only way out. My prayers generally went something like "Dear Heavenly Father, I miss you. I'm so homesick for a real home. Please just take me back tonight! In a twinkling, or peaceful way. I can't take this life any more. In Jesus' name, amen" And every morning when I woke up I figured He didn't want me either.
Eventually I gave up the Praying For Death route, and adopted a Pretend I'm Okay and Make The Best Of It approach. That's been my modus operandi ever since.
I didn't want to cop to being depressed. I couldn't handle there being something else wrong with me. If the thought that I was depressed ever came up, it made me mad. Kind of like when anyone hinted that my mood could be PMS. How DARE they minimize my feelings by writing it off as mere hormones?!
But in recent months as I've hit bottom, I've learned a lot about depression. There is (and likely always will be) a stigma associated with it. If you struggle with depression, you have likely felt shame or embarrassment over your situation. You feel like you're "less than" those who don't have this particular struggle. You worry that if people know, you'll be ostracized, abandoned, alone. And the fact is, you actually might. I might. Talking about it is scary and risky for me. But I'm still me, nothing's changed except what some people know about me.
I don't want to become the poster child for depression. But I do hope to make more progress and have better success dealing with it by not spending so much energy trying to hide the fact of it from everyone. I also hope that by being open about it, I will be able to help others who are also struggling with it. I've met lots of people who struggle with depression lately. It really is at pandemic levels...and countless lives are impacted by it on a daily basis. But there ARE ways to live with it. There IS help. And if something you've tried hasn't worked, there are other things to try.
It's especially crucial to help young people who struggle with depression...because they won't necessarily have the insights and experiences needed to know that there is a different way of being. We lose too many people to this disease of depression. Like the billboard says, it is real. It's an illness just like cancer, or heart disease. But there are effective treatments. In shining light on the subject, I hope to de-stigmatize the condition, and help people think about it differently.
Blessings today:
Today before school Bunch and I were talking, and she mentioned a billboard she saw that says something like:
YOU NEVER HEAR
"SNAP OUT OF IT,
IT'S JUST DIABETES"
Visit DepressionIsReal.org
Reading the comments on that post made me feel like I've been behaving a bit like Golum most of my life, hiding out in the dark caves, in denial with myself about my depression.
Well, it's time to come out of the dark. (Oooh, bright light, bright light!)
Last October I wrote a post I titled "The Meadow", in which I described feeling happy. At the time I felt impressed that I needed to record those feelings, which I did in that post. (If you'd like to go read that post before you continue, I'll wait for you right here.)
Welcome back! Anyway, little did I know that less than two weeks after writing those feelings down, two things would occur that would throw me into a deep depression. We're talking the ultimate Funky Town.
In hindsight, I feel like that season of simple, daily happiness was a tender mercy from God, given to me so that I'd know that there was a different way to experience life. That some people feel happy like that on a regular basis. That my decades of feeling like I was dragging myself along wasn't the only way to feel.
My long-term bloggy buddies may recall that I "took a break" from writing for a few months, and kind of went into hiding for a while...wrestling with myself and what I was feeling. It's a common response to stress...fight or flight. I flew (naturally!)
I wasn't doing very well. In fact I kind of bottomed out for a bit there.
A few months ago, Doc, who was doing his psychiatry rotation at the time, wondered aloud if I was dysthymic.
"What's that?" I asked him. He told me to google dysthymia, which I did.
And I spent hours that day reading everything I could find about this condition. Because there was my Entire Life, defined in print.
Facing the news that I was depressed made me even more depressed. It felt like a personal failing on my part. Like something I should have been able to prevent, by just Thinking Better Thoughts, or Handling Situations Better. Being More Positive. Or Being More Grateful. Trying Harder. Or Eating More Chocolate (kidding).
Whenever I heard someone compare depression to diabetes, I focused on the more preventable forms of diabetes...the kind that the person contributes to because of their dietary and lifestyle choices. They, like me, should have done something to prevent it...right?!
Hearing about dysthymia was revelatory. I'd seen various counselors through the past 20 years, and NO ONE had ever mentioned it..which is shocking to me. I've felt this way as long as I can remember, till last fall when I had that season of Happy Blue, when I thought I'd somehow finally Arrived, and was Done With The Darkness. Forever!
It wasn't till that experience that I knew for myself a different way of feeling actually existed. I'd always compared my life to those around me, and figured that how I felt was as good as it gets.
But it's not.
Depression is NOT as good as it gets. Depression is like a gray film on reading glasses. It colors everything with a drab wash. And that's just the mild form of it. At times, the hopelessness and frustration can be so overwhelming that death seems like the only relief. Being severely depressed is like being in a smoke filled room, and it's killing you, but the only way out is to run through the fire. But you're terrified of being disfigured and destroyed...it seems much worse than the smokey room, so you stay put, slowly having the life choked out of you.
When I was growing up, I spent years praying every night that I would die in my sleep. I didn't want to commit suicide...I was sure I'd go straight to hell if I did that. And hell was pretty low on my sight-seeing list even back then. I was also afraid of pain, and was sure that dying was the most painful thing out there. But I was so sad all the time, that death seemed like the only way out. My prayers generally went something like "Dear Heavenly Father, I miss you. I'm so homesick for a real home. Please just take me back tonight! In a twinkling, or peaceful way. I can't take this life any more. In Jesus' name, amen" And every morning when I woke up I figured He didn't want me either.
Eventually I gave up the Praying For Death route, and adopted a Pretend I'm Okay and Make The Best Of It approach. That's been my modus operandi ever since.
I didn't want to cop to being depressed. I couldn't handle there being something else wrong with me. If the thought that I was depressed ever came up, it made me mad. Kind of like when anyone hinted that my mood could be PMS. How DARE they minimize my feelings by writing it off as mere hormones?!
But in recent months as I've hit bottom, I've learned a lot about depression. There is (and likely always will be) a stigma associated with it. If you struggle with depression, you have likely felt shame or embarrassment over your situation. You feel like you're "less than" those who don't have this particular struggle. You worry that if people know, you'll be ostracized, abandoned, alone. And the fact is, you actually might. I might. Talking about it is scary and risky for me. But I'm still me, nothing's changed except what some people know about me.
I don't want to become the poster child for depression. But I do hope to make more progress and have better success dealing with it by not spending so much energy trying to hide the fact of it from everyone. I also hope that by being open about it, I will be able to help others who are also struggling with it. I've met lots of people who struggle with depression lately. It really is at pandemic levels...and countless lives are impacted by it on a daily basis. But there ARE ways to live with it. There IS help. And if something you've tried hasn't worked, there are other things to try.
It's especially crucial to help young people who struggle with depression...because they won't necessarily have the insights and experiences needed to know that there is a different way of being. We lose too many people to this disease of depression. Like the billboard says, it is real. It's an illness just like cancer, or heart disease. But there are effective treatments. In shining light on the subject, I hope to de-stigmatize the condition, and help people think about it differently.
Blessings today:
- A good therapist
- Blogging friends
- Honesty
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Yes You May
"Tra La It's May...the month of 'yes you may.'"
That's a line from my all-time favorite musical. Two points if you can tell me which one it is.
Once upon a time before I became a parent, I got a flier somewhere entitled How To Really Love A Child with a long list of things a dedicated parent could do. I liked the list, and even though it was just a tacky flier, I taped it up on my tacky cupboard in our student housing apartment.
One of the items that I've never forgotten on that list was the admonition "say yes as often as you can." I think it struck me at the time for two reasons. First, I wasn't sure always saying yes to kids was a good idea. That's not necessarily how good parents love their children. But, on the other hand, there are plentyOparents who say "no" almost as a reflex. "Mom, can I..." "NO!" before the poor kid even finishes their request. The ugly cousin to "no" is "not now."
I remember as a young child being told no a lot. The result was I eventually stopped asking, and just took matters into my own hands. By the time I became a teenager, I wasn't really being parented. At the time I thought this was pretty cool in a way. Doing my own thing without any meaningful input from my parental units made me feel (falsely) like I was pretty mature and grown up.
As an adult, I realize that saying no to our children is a big responsibility. I believe the second reason that quote stayed with me was the other way to interpret it. "Say yes as often as you can"...meaning, as often as is healthy for your children, for the family, and for you as a parent. As often as you can, while still enabling them to develop in age-appropriate ways. As often as is possible so as not to stifle their creativity and the natural wonder that children have. Say yes to living, with that happy dandylion-twirly-head-on-exuberance that is innate to children. Say yes to the sweet, simple requests of childhood. Most of them are small and innocent. And childhood won't last forever.
I'm trying to be better about saying yes to my children. To be aware of my reasons for saying no when I do, and make sure they're reasonable. To seize the day, and create as many memories as I can with them while I have the chance. To realize that they'll be gone in two blinks. I'm trying to help them learn and grow in as many ways as possible, and to learn all the lessons they can teach me as their mother.
Following in my friend's footsteps...I'll end with three good things:
That's a line from my all-time favorite musical. Two points if you can tell me which one it is.
Once upon a time before I became a parent, I got a flier somewhere entitled How To Really Love A Child with a long list of things a dedicated parent could do. I liked the list, and even though it was just a tacky flier, I taped it up on my tacky cupboard in our student housing apartment.
One of the items that I've never forgotten on that list was the admonition "say yes as often as you can." I think it struck me at the time for two reasons. First, I wasn't sure always saying yes to kids was a good idea. That's not necessarily how good parents love their children. But, on the other hand, there are plentyOparents who say "no" almost as a reflex. "Mom, can I..." "NO!" before the poor kid even finishes their request. The ugly cousin to "no" is "not now."
I remember as a young child being told no a lot. The result was I eventually stopped asking, and just took matters into my own hands. By the time I became a teenager, I wasn't really being parented. At the time I thought this was pretty cool in a way. Doing my own thing without any meaningful input from my parental units made me feel (falsely) like I was pretty mature and grown up.
As an adult, I realize that saying no to our children is a big responsibility. I believe the second reason that quote stayed with me was the other way to interpret it. "Say yes as often as you can"...meaning, as often as is healthy for your children, for the family, and for you as a parent. As often as you can, while still enabling them to develop in age-appropriate ways. As often as is possible so as not to stifle their creativity and the natural wonder that children have. Say yes to living, with that happy dandylion-twirly-head-on-exuberance that is innate to children. Say yes to the sweet, simple requests of childhood. Most of them are small and innocent. And childhood won't last forever.
I'm trying to be better about saying yes to my children. To be aware of my reasons for saying no when I do, and make sure they're reasonable. To seize the day, and create as many memories as I can with them while I have the chance. To realize that they'll be gone in two blinks. I'm trying to help them learn and grow in as many ways as possible, and to learn all the lessons they can teach me as their mother.
Following in my friend's footsteps...I'll end with three good things:
- The flowers are magnificent in my neighborhood right now
- Hard rain storms in the desert mean the mountains are so green and rivers are swollen.
- Reading with my children every morning
Friday, May 1, 2009
Certainty
The following is written by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love (Penguin):
Is there anything you are (mostly) certain about?
Absolute certainty is not something I strive for anymore. I've learned the hard way that destiny usually looks upon our most strident convictions with amusement, or perhaps even pity. (Oh, those silly humans! So desperate for their absolutes!) Sometimes it seems like the only job of the world is to gently (or not so gently) separate us from our deepest assurances, exposing us once again to that ultimate moral teaching tool: humility.I haven't read the book yet, but it's been on my reading list for a while. I just heard the quote and it made me think about my life. Certainty and Constancy are two things I've always striven for. But the more time passes, the more I realize that Uncertainty and Change are to be my life-long companions. They aren't who I'd choose to hang out with, and thus far they seem to always catch me off guard, but they do keep things interesting. I'm able to deal with them so long as I keep my other pal, Faith, around all the time. When Faith departs, Blue falls apart.
Of course, it's not always a pleasant experience to have our certainties stripped away. Sureness is something like a neck brace, which we clamp around our lives, hoping to somehow protect ourselves from the frightening, constant whiplash of change. Sadly, the brace doesn't always hold. I could list for you a tragicomic litany of all the things I was once mistakenly completely certain about, and I'm sure you can do the same. Maybe you, too, were once absolutely sure that you'd found your final best friend, or the perfect mentor, meditation, or medication that would—once and for all—never fail you. And then? Slowly, it seems, we are not so sure after all. Such is our slippery toehold here on Earth, and so it has always been.
Perhaps it is for this reason that the people we instinctively turn to in times of trouble are those who—we sense—have made space within their convictions for doubt and mystery. Compassion grows best, it appears, in the soft spots beneath quiet surrender. So I try very hard to go easy on the firm conclusions. These days I settle for feeling only 85 percent sure about most things, most of the time. I believe this is keeping me sane, and I also believe that it's keeping me human. In fact, I'm 85 percent sure of it.
Is there anything you are (mostly) certain about?
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