Nieces

Great News! I just received official word that I have won the Most Darling Nieces In The World Competition!

I don't know why it took the judges this long to pick a winner, because just look at them. Have you ever seen a sweeter group of girls? I submit that you have not. At least not that were all my nieces.

The official prize package includes not only fabulous times and abundant cuteness whenever we're together, but happy memories when we're not. Bonus hijinks, shenanigans and capers are also part of the deal!

With such a great bunch of girls to hang out with, cousin time is a blast...especially for Bunch. She adores them all, and so do I. It's so fun to watch them with each other. This summer the four that live out east were here for a good, long visit. Bonding took place and memories were created. Now if we could just have more time with the Hawaiian niece (preferably on-site!), life would be about as close to perfect as you can possibly get!

Photo credits go to Mish & Kuhswimb...I shamelessly pilfered them so as not to reinvent the wheel!

The Great PB Disaster of '08

Janel the Great is right. She said I needed to rename this event, so I'm editing the title after the fact, and stating that from here on out, the following event shall be known as the The Great PB Disaster of '08

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So tonight, in an effort to lighten Doc's burden (which is pretty heavy these days), I told him I was going to make his lunch for him. He has told me that I don't need to do this, but I insisted that it wasn't a problem...I wanted to.

So into the kitchen I went. Pulled open the cupboard and noticed that we were out of peanut butter. No worries. I've got loads of jars in the storage. It's the natural kind, so the oil separates and it has to be stirred before the first use (after that it never has time to separate because Doc eats PB&honey every single day for lunch.)

So I'm stirring and stirring with a knife, when suddenly I strike upon a brilliant idea. To mix the oil and peanut butter faster, I could use my electric hand mixer...with just one of the blades. It'd make fast work of the job I thought to myself.

So I get the mixer out, put in one blade, stick it down into the jar of peanut butter and turn the speed to low.

It happened so fast I'm not sure why it didn't work. All I know was the jar was snatched out of my hand and suddenly peanut butter and peanut oil was flying everywhere. This picture simply doesn't do the scene justice. I couldn't turn the mixer off fast enough. One second before, my kitchen was clean (and so were my pants), the next...well it was everywhere. Ceiling, walls, shades, chairs, rug, outlets, window, molding, cupboards, me. It just left no surface untouched with it's oily persona.
It took me over 2 hours to clean it up, and I'm still washing the rug, my pants and the towels. I had to use tooth picks to get it out from the edges of the light switch, plug and mixer vents. I had to wash the blinds in the window. There was about 1 oz left in the jar when this was finally over.

I had the kids come look at the big mess mommy made just as an object lesson, and vowed never to get mad at them if they make a mess by accident. Upon hearing this, Bunch declared that she was happy it happened in that case. (not that she's ever made a big mess)

(But sometimes her mom does!)

The Making of A Pirate's Den...

...or
How to Create a Cool, Inexpensive
Pirate Bedroom...
in a jiffy!

My little scalleywag was sad that he had to leave his former mateys and set sail for different climes. It pains me to see Cap'n pining so for his former position. So one day his saucy wench sister and I decided to decorate his sleeping quarter so it would be fit for a king. Or at least a captain.

Problem is, we were running short on treasure. It'd been some time since our last raid. But havin' limited means didn't prevent us from creating a right smart berth.

We sent the Captain to pilage a neighboring ship for 3 hours one day, while we set forth to work our magic.

When he got home, Cap'n was SO Ecstatic over his new digs that he danced a jig and promoted me from kitchen wench to Bosun.

The secret cave where I acquired all the goods is called Zurchers. It's a common-enough type cave...catering to those searching for party supplies high and low.

I purchased ye ole plastic wall hangings that would be typically be purchased to decorate at a party. Only this was one party meant to last.

I didn't want to pin, tape or staple them to the wall. Sometimes we hit storms so mighty that I knew mere pins and stapels wouldn't survive. They needed something more substantial.

So I procured a can of spray adhesive. This was a sticky job, and I'm sure my lungs are to this day gunkier than the pipes on a Salt whose spent his days down in the bilge. But in the end, the result was worth it. For less than $35 dubloons and in less than 2 hours, I transformed all four plain white walls of his private bunk from bare to beautiful. The berths are adorned with pirate sheets, which I scored in a raid during a close-out special. Note the parrot on the ladder to the top berth, and the hats and his spare hook.Here is the cherished Treasure Map that our Captain studies before each forray out in search of more booty. The addition of a few accessories completed the transformation. A net pinned in the corner of the ceiling holds a few stray shells, sea creatures, a spy glass, lei, spare eye patch. When Captain Gator returned to his ship three hours after leaving it, and found his quarters thusly transformed, words escaped him.

So did this great big smile.

Pirate Birthday Party

Seven Year Old Pirate Birthday Party

Ahoy Me Hearties! If ye be among the unfortunate land lubbers who're regularly terrorized by pirates, this here party may be just the thing to appease the rotten little bilge rats.

First, every (dis)respectable Pirate needs to look the part. Builds confidence.

For the best selection, this here Lassy recommends you pay a visit to yer local thrift store. Find stripy shirts and pants that you can cut off all jaggedy-like for your Scalleywag. Trim around the neck opening, if ye have a mind to. An eye patch, bandanna and sash'll complete the ensemble, bonus doubloons to you if you can scrounge up a parrot. Hoop earring optional. This Captain has a spare outfit for more dressy occasions.
Every year I tell my favorite deck hand "all ye'll be getting fer yer birthday from me is toilet paper.

He wails and hollers and gnashes his teeth. And then he always threatens to just throw it out without opening it.

I reply, "what if it's a roll of treasure? You wouldn't even check to see if it's treasure?"

He tells me there is no such thing as a roll like that.

This year I taped a play $100 bill around a roll of TP, and wrapped it up. Ye got te make good on them promises. Keeps yer crew in line and mindful-like!

He pretended to be insulted, but secretly me knows it was his favorite gift. It certainly wasn't his new shipAfter being terrorized into giving him all our treasure, we could really use a few pieces of eight ourselves. Ye can take pity on us.

Here is the booty haul from all his adoring mateys. No party is complete without some hearty Pirate Grub & Grog.

When serving yer crew, be sure to use phrases such as Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bilgewater. If they run away screamin', it just means more for you.

For our gathering, we made Pirate-shaped Pasta Mac&Cheese...a staple on board our ship...once the rats have all been eaten. And Ships Cook also concocted a green sea-water Jello, with gummy sea creatures swimming in it. A fresh catch of Goldfish Crackers made for aplenty good snackin'. Amazingly it vanished faster than treasure sinking in the briny deep.

A Proper Pirate Party clearly needs a Worthy Cake.

For Captain Gator's birthday, this Kitchen Wench concocted up a treasure chest, laden with all manner of gems, jewels and coins. . When I finally carried the cake out onto the poop deck, the gasp from the crew was audible. They came running from the prow so fast it's a wonder not-a-one of them ended up as shark bait.Cap'n Gator was beyond excited. This chest was created by baking a 9x13" of Cap'n G's favorite cake flavor du jour.

• Once cooled, I cut it and stacked it up high to create the base. Of course you frost between layers for "glue".
  
• I cut a piece of cardboard for the "lid", and covered it with foil.
• Frost the sides of the cake with chocolate.
  
• Frost the covered card board with chocolate and stick it to the back of the cake with frosting. You might want to also do the words and trim before attaching it to the chest.
• I had to push some toothpicks through the cardboard into the back of the chest to add stability.
  
• Frost the top of the cake with gold frosting, using the same to create the lock, hinges etc.
• Now it's time to load on the treasure. Candy necklaces, chocolate coins, ring pops, colorful little Skittles or M&M-type dealios. Heap it up...this is no time for stinginess!
  
• Stick a dagger in it for good measure. I admit to pilfering Cap'n Gator's for this cake. He was mighty happy to see it again.
  
• Sink Me! That'd be the best-lookin' treasure I ever laid eyes on! And twas so delicious, methinks I'll have to walk the plank a few times tonight!
  
• If you want to embellish the serving platter with pirate toys, cutlass, cat-o-nine-tales, etc. feel free. Whatever floats yer pirate's boat!
  

No Proper Pirate Party is complete without a Skeleton Pirate to raise a ruckus and do battle against. We captured a few slaves and forced them to help us keep things running. The Sea Dog pouring the grog was especially diligent, which is more than can be said for the Sorry Salts lazying around on the deck. Piñata.
This poor piece of sharkbait was filled with plastic sea creatures, snakes, crawlies, and enough pirate booty candy to satisfy all the Brethren of the Coast. Be sure to yell Gang Way! when they start swingin' their belaying pin. Sharkbait's head got a wee bit addled before he was knocked overboard by one of the deck hands and paid a visit to Davy Jones' Locker! At least Dead Men Tell No Tales! It's best to include all the little pirates in your life...after all, they are the future. Shiver Me Timbers, the party ended up being right ship shape. The invitations were unfortunately lost at sea, but I can describe them for ye.

• Print yer Party Info on brown or antiqued paper
• Scorch the edges with fire to give it that aged look. Watch yer fingers!
  
• Slip a gold coin in the envelope as passage to board your ship.
• You could put your Party Invitation in an old root beer grog bottle and toss it out to sea...or just onto a doorstep.
• You could write the party details on random pieces of plastic (cut up beach ball etc) with permanent marker. Put this into a zip lock bag with a little sand and add blue-tinted water and a tiny shell or two.

Well, Buccaneer, tis' about time to weigh anchor and crawl up into me Crow's Nest. Have a swashbucklin' good time! Yo-Ho-Ho!

Star Wars Birthday Party

By the time Gator turned six, it was All Star Wars, All the time. If you've got a Jedi of your own to celebrate, feel free to swipe any/all of these ideas. And May The Force Be With You...*

Star Wars Birthday Celebration.

Activities: Pin The Light Saber On The Yoda

• Have a talented artist friend make you a Yoda poster. (Serves dual purpose as wall art in your Jedi's room after the party.)
• Make a paper light saber for each young Jedi with their name on it
• Blindfold the Jedi and have them try to pin their saber on Yoda.
• Try not to be annoyed with Jedi who seem to be peeking
• Closest match wins a prize.
• Note, Yoda's saber is Green. This is very important. Do NOT under any circumstances make an offensive RED or YELLOW light saber for this activity! The force would definitely not be with you

Treasure Hunt

• Make up a bunch of clues. Each clue must be written in Yoda Voice, and lead the young Jedi cluster to the next clue. Obi Wan has found that with treasure hunts for young Jedi, it's best to send them hunting all over. Up, down, to yonder galaxies and back. They have lots of energy, and are generally of the male persuasion. Running around is good.
• The pack of Jedi will use the force to search for the missing treasure by following the clues. Clues will lead them to search in the most random locations.
• When said treasure is at last found, there will be much rejoicing.
• Light Saber battles will undoubtedly ensue (so long as your treasure is a light saber).
• An assortment of colors is fine in this case. There's always someone who wants to be the bad guy (or who just doesn't have every color saber at home already).
• Their light saber was their "take home prize"...cause going home empty handed seems to have become a cardinal sin for any kid party anymore. Obi Wan isn't sure when or why this has happened, but suspects Darth Vader has something to do with it.
• Let the Jedi Masters play. I promise, they can do this just fine. Sometimes less structure is more.

(EDITED ON IN 2012) Here is a link to a post about making The Death Star Cake

Cake:

• First off, this is one of the easiest cakes I've ever done. I'm confident anyone else could do it too...that means YOU, Jedi parent! Just let The Force guide you...it's that powerful!
• Bake your Jedi's favorite flavor in a 9x13" pan.
• Remove it from the pan and when it's cool, you're going to make a light saber template out of paper to guide you.
• Trace the cake onto your paper. Your goal is to make it as long as possible, while tapering the ends so they meet up with the one before it. My cake was cut into thirds.
• Once you have the template made, use it to cut the cake and line it up. I found a long board and covered it with foil to mount the cake on.
• Buy concentrated Wilton frosting colors. Black and whatever color your saber is. Our Jedi is Blue (an excellent choice if I do say so myself)
• Frost it.
• Decorate the handle of your light saber. I cut up large marshmallows to make the white trim, and spelled my Jedi's name and age with those letters and numbers you buy in the cake deco section of your grocery store. Our light saber was lit up with those long, sparkler candles that keep relighting.
• Hide the finished product till it's time to eat. When you emerge with it, your Jedi Knights will be amazed!

Additional Suggestions:

• Use bathrobes or cut up brown fabric and tied around them as capes.
• Tae Kwan Do or Karate outfits make fine Jedi attire...modeled here by Jedi Gator with his unhemmed, brown fabric cape knotted at the neck. Princess Leah is wearing a white turtle neck and a sheet draped around and tied at the waist with a cord. Nothing fancy needed.
• Have Obi Wan show up and conduct a Jedi Training Session.
• Have Darth Vader make a surprise appearance and engage the Jedi Knights in battle. Or fight Obi Wan...if you can find two recruits at the same time.
• Play the soundtrack from the movie as background noise for their battles. It really adds.
• Songs are available on iTunes for $1.00 each. Burn a CD as a gift for your Jedi. Prepare yourself for hours of this:
  
  
• Video tape their little battles...they LOVE this!
• Help them make a mini movie with dialog, music, costumes and battles.
• Put them on You Tube. Apparently it's THE place for homemade Star Wars movies.
  
  

• If it's okay with the parents (and you just don't want the party to ever end), you could let the Jedi Knights watch one of the movies. (The newest Clone Wars movie will eventually be on DVD, and it's my Jedi's favorite one of all, plus it's only an hour and a half).
• Relax. No matter the age, for Star Wars fans, this party really takes care of itself. Not a whole lot of direction or Ewok herding needed. You can sit in the corner and pretend your Jabba the Hut with the leftover cake.

*...ALWAYS

Oh the joy...

...of raising a Boy!

While his poor, exhausted momma was still obliviously sleeping one day, no doubt dreaming of her sweet, always well-behaved and helpful children, Gator grabbed his cache of bugs. Creepy, crawly bugs, and put them all over me. And if that wasn't enough, he grabbed my camera and documented the whole thing too. As you can plainly see, he is feeling quite pleased with himself. (Note: I realize that spiders are not technically insects. But as far as I'm concerned, they are bugs! And while you're here, just take a look at that smug little face. And did you notice him pointing the spiders out on me?! The pesky little prankster! But don't worry. I have ways of seeking revenge. Vast resources at my disposal. Including his big sister's cooperation! Mwuaaah haaa haa haa!)