Catching Up...a post that is all over the place

My year-long hiatus from flying is up and last week I hit the skies again, followed by my annual recurrent training. Amazingly, I passed and will live to fly another year. It's funny, everyone who I encountered said the same thing, "So what did you do all year?" I have always flown between 1 and 4 days a month, typically. So having a year off, while lovely in many ways, wasn't all that different in terms of free time. It was definitely less stressful in terms of childcare, and it was a year of wonders for me, personally, but not the biggest lifestyle change.

This summer, when Doc starts his 3rd year rotations, that will be a big change. I'm still operating under the assumption that things will work out however they should for our situation in terms of providing care for Bunch & Gator. With Doc doing overnight stints every few nights in the hospital, I need to figure things out for the kids for when I'm gone. If I can't, then I'll quit flying. That's simply what it comes down to, because they're absolutely the #1 priority in my life. It's hard to imagine it coming to that though...for my few days a month of work, I make a tiny amount of money...enough to cover music lessons, sports, and a few other miscellaneous expenses that add a sense of normalcy to our student-lives. But most important is that we get amazing medical coverage from my company. After my emergency surgery last October, I've come to appreciate just how significant a blessing health insurance is in our lives.

Speaking of medical insurance, tonight Doc wanted to watch the movie Sicko...the pseudo-documentary by Michael Moore. While he made no effort to cover both sides of the issue objectively, it sure was a story with food for thought.

The movie left me with an even greater sense of appreciation for Doc as he prepares to be a physician. I'm continually grateful for him and the fact that he is pursuing this course out of love for the subject, and a life-long passion for learning, and not because he's chasing the almighty dollar. He will be an uncommonly good doctor, and a blessing in countless patient's lives because of his innate love and mastery of the subject, and his compassionate way with people. He genuinely cares about others. When he was a med school teacher it showed in his lectures and time spent with his students. In his work with the children at church, he has this natural ability to teach the small children that is inspiring. As a father he is always gentle, wise and fair. He's not distracted by materialism, which is such a blessing to us, and helps me be at peace with our situation through all these frugal years of schooling.

A funny example of how odd we are in this area was a conversation we had earlier today. He mentioned that he wanted to stop by the thrift store. I said I did too. We continued praising the merits of shopping at thrift stores for a few minutes, commenting that even after he's practicing medicine, he just doesn't ever see himself paying for new shirts when we can just happily find such great deals at thrift stores (pants are a different story for him...his size is nearly impossible to find). I agreed wholeheartedly, since excepting socks and underware, about 95% of everything I wear is from thrift stores (including shoes). People don't realize it, because it's amazing what you can find. I love the stores here, and am so grateful that we're all cool with second-hand clothing. Gator is in dire need of a new wardrobe right now. I am shocked at how he seemingly grew out of his shirts and pants overnight. I looked at him yesterday when he walked in the door after school, and walked him straight over to the full-length mirror.

"See your shirt and pants honey", I said to him. "This is the last time that you're going to be able to wear them."

'But they're my favorites" he protested!

I can't believe I never noticed his sleeves creeping halfway up from his wrists to his elbows. Time for him to move up a size.

Lately I've been so happy in so many areas of my life. In terms of the kids, Doc refers to this stage as the "golden era". The years from 8-11 are so sweet. We notice development in the kids on a regular basis, and they catch me off guard with the things they're thinking about and the ways they're growing.

Bunch especially has adult-esque insights and comments on a nearly daily basis. She chimes in on the email dialogue that flies back and forth amongst the grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles, and some of what she says is so mature I have to double-check who's message it is!

On Tuesday I had one of those amazing mommy moments. Bunch is in 5th grade, and her school has an orchestra that she's part of. She'd originally hoped to be a violinist, but since we have no real income, she was eligible for a free instrument, and all they had left to issue her was a viola. I know nothing about string instruments, so I've been a complete wasteland when it comes to being able to support her. She has a talent for music though, and has done really well on her own. She just started taking piano lessons a year and a half ago, but has already surpassed me in her reading abilities. The viola uses the alto clef, which I don't know anything about even though I sang alto in chorus growing up. (I don't even know if these two "altos" are related!)

Anyway, Bunch has a knack for playing by ear, and while I was playing Cannon in D by Johann Pachelbel on the downstairs piano, which I always just improvise and make up as I go, she amazed me by joining in on her viola. There we were, mom and daughter, having our first jam session together!

Doc came in and watched me play with tears streaming down my cheeks. It was one of those moments in life when my heart just takes a picture. I know that the next 7 years are going to whiz by faster than I can imagine, and that Bunch will be a full-on grown up, out on her own in no time. I'm going to miss being a mom to young people, but I suspect she'll be a delight to parent all her days. She's one of my favorite people in the world. Here's a picture of her at the holiday concert at her school:In other news, my airline announced it's first code-share with another airline, and to celebrate, they're offering a mind-blowing deal of $50.00 RT through the end of May for crewmembers and their families to Ireland. Doc surprised me by saying "let's go!" He's on spring break next week, so he and I are taking off for a little get-away for a few days. The kids are going to hang out with their cousins, which is their favorite place in the world besides home. They absolutely LOVE being with cousins. So it's a win-win for everyone. Doc and I are flying to Shannon, and will drive around the beautiful west coast of Ireland where we hope to do some hiking, see a castle, beautiful vistas, and find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. I can't wait!

The week before I started flying again, one of my dearest friends made my year by coming out for a visit. Her visit deserves a post of it's own, and I'll give it due dilligence later, but I just had to mention it now because I'm so grateful for my friends. I'm getting over my amazement that I have such great people in my life...but I'll never stop being filled with gratitude for them. Colleen, you're better than chocolate! And that's saying a lot, especially when I'm PMS! ;-)

BOOK UPDATE: It's taken a few turns in the past month. I'm going in a completely different direction that originally planned, and today I made the firm commitment to finish it by my 1/2 birthday in June. I really feel good about this. For various reasons, I have decided to write it under a pen name, which means that I won't be announcing it and publicizing it, but the experience of writing it is the reason I'm doing it. If I actually produce a good book, great, and if it does for anyone else what Jeanette Walls book The Glass Castle did for me, even better. But my goal in finishing it is just to tell my story.

So this all means I won't be publishing bits on here either, nor discussing it when it's done. Doc pointed out that being anonymous means not telling the maybe 300 people that I would have told about my book, who might have gotten the "snowball rolling", but we both agree that the most important thing is to just write it because it's haunting my dreams and begging me to tell it. It's been such a cathartic experience for me to go through the process of making peace with my early life. I'm so grateful that I listened to that feeling I had that I needed to do this. I couldn't have predicted how freeing it would be, nor how it would help me grow. I have yet to tell my agent about the change. I hope they're cool with this. No book tours or anything, could mean they're not happy. But for this book, this is what I need to do.

I actually exercised four times during the week I was gone...but have been so sedentary since returning. I tried out an eliptical trainer in my hotel weight room and really liked it. I'm so averse to going outside and walking around, and running just destroys my knees, so it was really fun to have the gym during my layovers. I need to make myself just get back at it again. I know we all have our various struggles, but I sure wish exercise was one I could finally supersede once and for all!

And finally, tonight cute Gator wrote a speech all on his own which he is giving tomorrow in class. His topic: "My paper airplane collection". I thought it was very well done, and am looking forward to seeing him present it to his class. We had lunch with Bunch today, and will have lunch with Gator tomorrow at their school. It's so fun to see them during the day, made all the better by Doc being on break right now. Having him home during the day is spoiling me! These days are so sweet, and they're so numbered! Only 3 months till Step 1 of the Medical Board exams, and then rotations start. Next year is going to be tough. But we'll get through it. Every doctor does. ♥