I'm not a person who ever kneels of my own volition. I have these knobby knees, and it has always been a bit uncomfortable or painful to kneel. According to my mom, I didn't like crawling when I was little. I just kind of skipped over that phase and moved straight to walking. As a child things like the tubes you crawl through at Chuck E Cheese or other play places always bothered me. Even when I was married, and the officiator had me kneel across the altar from my sweet Doc while he performed the ceremony, I was acutely aware of the discomfort I have about kneeling for any amount of time. If I'm kneeling, it's hard to not be preoccupied with thoughts of knee pads. My knees also bother me when I run, hike etc.
But in my faith, we have a tradition of kneeling at certain times. Family and personal prayers being the most common ones. There have been times when I knelt for these kinds of prayers, but if no one else initiated it, I've never felt a need to kneel on my own. I rationalized this as just one of those silly customs that carried little significance.
Today, while we sang the sacrament hymn, the priests in our church prepared the sacrament, like they do every Sunday. And then, when it was time to bless it, the young man offering the prayer knelt down, like they do every week, and in a reverent manner, repeated the familiar words of the sacrament prayer.
I don't know why this struck me today, but I was impressed with a sense of the holy nature of the sacrament, and perhaps a greater sense of the propriety of kneeling, when appropriate, while addressing God. I felt distinctly that I can do better in this area, and that there may be unforeseen benefits to my kneeling while addressing him in my prayers. An increased measure of his spirit, perhaps. Many of my favorite songs mention kneeling..."will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall?". It's not a concept limited to my faith.
I'm grateful for the example of the young priests in our ward. They have no idea how the spirit and dignity with which they prepare and administer the sacrament each week impacts those partaking of it. For years as a young mom wrestling with small children, the sacrament was hard to get through with any measure of peace. Intellectually I know it's the most important thing I can do each week to bring my soul back into alignment with the spirit, and when I've come to it prepared, it's a renewing experience.
As for kneeling, maybe I'll make myself a little "prayer pillow" to kneel on.
3 comments:
Thanks for that. I used to be good about kneeling in my own prayers, but not so much anymore. I, like you, have justified it away as being insignificant, and at least I'm praying, right? Well, I think you're right. I will try kneeling more often.
My legs always fall asleep while kneeling to say my prayers and I also rationalized that I prayed better when lying in my bed. But I was struck a while back at the need to kneel each night and morning and have tried to be more committed to showing my respect and gratitude for my blessings in this manner. Each night I still crawl into bed and try to remain calm as my tingling legs try to "wake up." But it's a small price to pay. Thank you for the additional insight in your post.
You never told me kneeling bothered you! But that prayer pillow thing is a good idea.
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