Girl Stuff

One day when I was growing up, I wandered into the kitchen just after my mom returned home from a trip to the grocery store. As she was unpacking, she reached into one of the bags and pulled out a disposable razor, which she handed it to me without a word.

I was an astute fourteen year old, so no words were needed, and I was thrilled to join the exciting world of People Who Shave.

I managed to get through my first session without any cuts. Clearly I was a total natural.

Weeks passed, I kept shaving, and life marched on. Then one day, when I was admittedly a bit stubbly and overdue for some quality Bic time, the girl with the gym locker next to mine looked at me as we were changing into our track and field uniforms.

Looking me over, she suddenly said “You shave your ARMS?”, in an incredulous voice intended for the girls around us.

I glanced at her hairy, unshaved arms. Clearly she wasn’t as mature as me yet, so I proudly replied, “Yeah, you DON’T?!”

The girls around us burst out laughing, and shortly they headed out of the locker room still cracking jokes about me.

This was the first moment that it ever crossed my mind that I didn’t actually know what body parts females typically shave. I’d guessed it was arms that day when my mom handed me the razor. But I’d guessed wrong.

Alas, that wasn’t the last coming of age experience I thought I was on top of but was, in actuality, rather clueless about. Oh the jubilation of growing up.

But that's not going to happen around here. Because tomorrow night, Bunch and I are going to have our first shaving party! (Que music and confetti).

She’s starting junior high in a couple weeks, and apparently EVERYONE already shaves their legs. ("if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump too!?") I've told her that it's not fun, a hassle, and whatnot, but she is fixed in her mind.

So we will sit on the edge of the bath, and after a demonstration from her VERY wise and experienced mother, she’ll join the ranks of Those Who Use a Razor. I’ll have the tourniquets handy.

Then we shall paint our toes pretty, and celebrate this milestone in her life by wearing summer skirts and walking over for a.... Shave Ice, naturally. I think this also means she’s old enough to assume tub-cleaning responsibilities, too. Glory Hallelujah and Amen.

Seems like the Golden Age Of Childhood (ages 8 - 12 ) is the season of parenting that has flown by the fastest. For just a little while longer, both kids are in this delightful phase. I've loved every age of their lives so far, and I don't expect that to change as they move into the teen years. But far too quickly for my preferences they'll be off on their own adventures.

Grateful for:

1) A fantastic, daughter that I have a great relationship with.
2) My fabulous Gator and his recent growth and personal development.
3) A husband who works hard and is trustworthy.
4) Friends you fall in love with from the moment you meet them.
5) Support. And I’m not talking about the hose kind.

These I Love

It's been almost five years since we had a family picture taken, which is really odd since we have two professional and quite a few amateur photographers in the family, to say nothing of all our friends who do photography. But we finally got around to it and had a shot done at my in-laws house a week ago. I ♥ these people!

Finding My Inner Creativity

Thursday night, some girlfriends hosted "studio night" for anyone who was interested in coming to paint. We each pitched in five bucks for supplies, and the gifted artist Leslie Graff White brought paints, boards and brushes, and the inspiration to help us tap into our creative sides.

As I'd recently written about my wish to create some paintings, I was very excited about this opportunity. My only fear was that my efforts would be completely unsatisfying, owing to my distinct lack of artistic ability with a paintbrush. So you can imagine my excitement as I discussed my desires with Leslie, and she made some suggestions about what I could do that would be meaningful and rewarding.

I printed out some of the digital images I've created which carry significance to me, and cut them up into small squares of varying size. After painting my board with a wash, I glued my little cut up images onto it in an abstract pattern. Using Modge Podge, I applied tissue paper over the images which gives it texture and visual interest, and then I dove in with the paintbrush and finished it off with acrylic paints.

The final result quite pleased me, and has personal meaning to boot. I just may have found a new creative outlet for myself!

Here's my first piece. I'm calling it Aspects of Blue, which is (not coincidentally) the name of my current header image.
(11x14 mixed media.)

I l♥ve the message of this YouTube clip. It's well-worth the less-than-two-minutes of your time it lasts to have a look.

And if you have an extra 19 minutes, this TedTalk by Sir Ken Robinson is very good too.

Thanks to Shelah for her generosity in hosting Studio Night, and to the lovely Leslie for coming out from New England and inspiring us with her talents. It was a delight to spend an evening with you and the other ladies who came. There are so many great people in this world!

Grateful for:
1) Discovering something new and enjoyable
2) Creating something satisfying, whether it be on the piano, in the kitchen, art, a friendship or any beautiful thing.
3) The fact that ALL my tomato plants are currently engaged in growing fresh tomatoes for me. Can't wait till they're ripe!

Blue Whisperer

I've had a lot going on in my head lately. Alas, most of it isn't anything I can possibly blog about. In between family vacationing and family reunioning, there hasn't been much extra time for me to write or process the things going on in my life, but I have been meeting regularly with my very talented therapist, which continues to be a good experience.

I've had a number of different therapists over the years. For the most part they were timesinks; well-intentioned people who listened sympathetically to me but with whom I experienced no significant personal progress, insight, or growth.

But this time it's different. I seem to have stumbled upon a Blue Whisperer*. And this fact alone is changing the landscape of my life. It's quite humbling and remarkable to me, actually. It's bringing me hope, and moments of happy anticipation at the thought of healing and surmounting the abuse and trauma of the past.

The sky is not the limit, nor the stars above.

*I haven't seen the movie or read the book, but the term "horse whisperer" goes back to the early nineteenth century when an Irish horseman, Daniel Sullivan, made a name for himself in England by rehabilitating horses that had become vicious and intractable due to abuse or accidental trauma. While I am neither equine nor vicious (in my opinion), I liked the comparison.

Grateful for:
1) A new friend, who is going to help me create a painting tomorrow.
2) Important "ahh haa" moments
3) People who love my kids

Scenes from our trip to Yellowstone

We had a glorious time. If you haven't ever been there, put spending a few days in Yellowstone National Park on your Bucket List. You won't regret it.

Grateful for:
1) National Parks
2) The kindness of Cap'n Holman for loaning us his camper
3) A successful family vacation.

It's not blue...

...but yellow is a nice color too!

So today we are headed out for a family trip to the first national park established in the world. I'll be doing something very rare, and that is going without internet access for a whole week. We'll see how I handle the withdrawal.

See you soon!

Grateful for
1) a break
2) the loan of an RV
3) a beautiful natural resource to visit.

Timely Reminder...

A message from one of the leaders in my church from a few months ago.


Grateful for:
1) Heavenly Father
2) My Savior
3) Those who have helped me in my hard times

tricky

it's father's day today. eight months have passed since i first read this post, which i found so riveting at the time. despite a lot of effort and work on my part, right now it doesn't really feel like i've made any progress in my struggles with my father (or mother) in the intervening months. though in fact, being presently embroiled in feelings i've ignored all my life is progress. just today nothing feels good.

father's day is tricky for me.

still trying to be grateful:
1) help
2) patience

I owe my blog-esteem to Star Wars

We've all been there, we bloggers. Wrestling with the temptation to blog for dollars comments, or in some cases, visitors. I've been through the whole spectrum of motives...from wishing I were brilliant or witty like some of the bloggers out there with tremendous followings, to debating whether or not to turn comments off entirely so as to not be writing for feedback or validation. I mean, what does it take to get my closest friends to read my blog?! As far as I know none of them do. And most of my relatives only read it sporadically, if ever.

Somewhere along the line I stopped caring about getting comments from my readers, and made peace with just blogging for my own personal gratification. This, may I add, is a huge relief. In addition, I only leave comments on other blogs when I genuinely want to. No "tit-for-tat" commenting any more.

But I DO have a site meeter tracking visits to my blog. And I confess it IS gratifying to know that I have some people who stop by and see what I'm up to. In fact I have quite a regular following here. There's my faithful reader in Modesto, CA (hi Modesto!), and the one in Marietta, GA (howdy Marietta!), and then there's the person in Houston who comes in via my friend Shelah's blog (hi Shelah's blog friend in Houston!). Oh, can't forget UC Davis...Yo! Whasssup?!

Anyway, suffice to say I ♥ my readers. Even if they've you've never commented and I have no idea why they you bother stopping by regularly, it does give me a little warm fuzzy to know I'm not alone here. It's like that classic Jim Cary line from The Mask (starting at 1:35).

That said, there's something rewarding about checking my site meter and seeing hundreds of visitors, from all over planet earth, coming here to my humble blog. The only thing is, 99% of them are here for one thing and one thing only: my Star Wars Birthday Party post.

Yes, I owe my modestly impressive stats and the self-esteem gained by them to the fact that I pulled off a great Star Wars party a few years back, and blogged about it last August. Though they don't comment, I get hundreds of visitors to my blog every week, seeking ideas about hosting a Star Wars birthday party.

Guess there really is something to that whole force business after all!
♥

Grateful for:
1) the ability to make awesome birthday cakes for my family
2) my lurkers
3) the laptop I write on

Wishing for a total eclipse of the ♥

A friend of mine who has never been close to her mother has had an amazing six weeks. It was the begining of May when her mom called out of the blue and apologized for how she'd been towards my friend (her daughter) all her life. She hadn't been nice. And they'd had a strained relationship for years because of it.

Somehow that conversation began the most miraculous, healing impact on my friend and her relationship with her mom. During that same phone call, her mom also told her that she'd just been diagnosed with the most treatable form of liver cancer. So just as their relationship started to turn around, and they were both enjoying each other for the first time in their lives, they were also facing a time-constraint.

Little did she know that day that in just six short weeks her mother would be gone.

As I've had the chance to learn little snippets of how this mighty change of heart has happened for my friend, I've wondered over and over if someday I, too, will have an experience like that. Heaven knows I've prayed for years to be healed inside. To move beyond the experiences of my past and find peace about my upbringing. I've wondered if there was some magic formula that I just hadn't plugged in yet. I'm fascinated by my friend's experience of healing, seemingly in a New York Minute, and the joy she was able to experience with her mother for the last six weeks before she passed away today.

How does that happen?!

Grateful for:
1) Friends
2) Hope
3) Health