Yes You May

"Tra La It's May...the month of 'yes you may.'"

That's a line from my all-time favorite musical. Two points if you can tell me which one it is.

Once upon a time before I became a parent, I got a flier somewhere entitled How To Really Love A Child with a long list of things a dedicated parent could do. I liked the list, and even though it was just a tacky flier, I taped it up on my tacky cupboard in our student housing apartment.

One of the items that I've never forgotten on that list was the admonition "say yes as often as you can." I think it struck me at the time for two reasons. First, I wasn't sure always saying yes to kids was a good idea. That's not necessarily how good parents love their children. But, on the other hand, there are plentyOparents who say "no" almost as a reflex. "Mom, can I..." "NO!" before the poor kid even finishes their request. The ugly cousin to "no" is "not now."

I remember as a young child being told no a lot. The result was I eventually stopped asking, and just took matters into my own hands. By the time I became a teenager, I wasn't really being parented. At the time I thought this was pretty cool in a way. Doing my own thing without any meaningful input from my parental units made me feel (falsely) like I was pretty mature and grown up.

As an adult, I realize that saying no to our children is a big responsibility. I believe the second reason that quote stayed with me was the other way to interpret it. "Say yes as often as you can"...meaning, as often as is healthy for your children, for the family, and for you as a parent. As often as you can, while still enabling them to develop in age-appropriate ways. As often as is possible so as not to stifle their creativity and the natural wonder that children have. Say yes to living, with that happy dandylion-twirly-head-on-exuberance that is innate to children. Say yes to the sweet, simple requests of childhood. Most of them are small and innocent. And childhood won't last forever.

I'm trying to be better about saying yes to my children. To be aware of my reasons for saying no when I do, and make sure they're reasonable. To seize the day, and create as many memories as I can with them while I have the chance. To realize that they'll be gone in two blinks. I'm trying to help them learn and grow in as many ways as possible, and to learn all the lessons they can teach me as their mother.

Following in my friend's footsteps...I'll end with three good things:

1. The flowers are magnificent in my neighborhood right now
2. Hard rain storms in the desert mean the mountains are so green and rivers are swollen.
   
3. Reading with my children every morning