Absolute certainty is not something I strive for anymore. I've learned the hard way that destiny usually looks upon our most strident convictions with amusement, or perhaps even pity. (Oh, those silly humans! So desperate for their absolutes!) Sometimes it seems like the only job of the world is to gently (or not so gently) separate us from our deepest assurances, exposing us once again to that ultimate moral teaching tool: humility.I haven't read the book yet, but it's been on my reading list for a while. I just heard the quote and it made me think about my life. Certainty and Constancy are two things I've always striven for. But the more time passes, the more I realize that Uncertainty and Change are to be my life-long companions. They aren't who I'd choose to hang out with, and thus far they seem to always catch me off guard, but they do keep things interesting. I'm able to deal with them so long as I keep my other pal, Faith, around all the time. When Faith departs, Blue falls apart.
Of course, it's not always a pleasant experience to have our certainties stripped away. Sureness is something like a neck brace, which we clamp around our lives, hoping to somehow protect ourselves from the frightening, constant whiplash of change. Sadly, the brace doesn't always hold. I could list for you a tragicomic litany of all the things I was once mistakenly completely certain about, and I'm sure you can do the same. Maybe you, too, were once absolutely sure that you'd found your final best friend, or the perfect mentor, meditation, or medication that would—once and for all—never fail you. And then? Slowly, it seems, we are not so sure after all. Such is our slippery toehold here on Earth, and so it has always been.
Perhaps it is for this reason that the people we instinctively turn to in times of trouble are those who—we sense—have made space within their convictions for doubt and mystery. Compassion grows best, it appears, in the soft spots beneath quiet surrender. So I try very hard to go easy on the firm conclusions. These days I settle for feeling only 85 percent sure about most things, most of the time. I believe this is keeping me sane, and I also believe that it's keeping me human. In fact, I'm 85 percent sure of it.
Is there anything you are (mostly) certain about?
4 comments:
I read that book awhile back. It was so interesting to read about her experiences. What really struck me about your post tho, was your comment "When Faith departs, Blue falls apart." That is true for me, too! It is so nice to have a firm foundation when things start to get crazy in life.
{{{hugs}}}
Blue, you really would enjoy Elizabeth's book! I read it a long time ago and I absolutely loved it. Very, very inspiring. I have set it aside because I want to read it again, but I have also given many a copy to friends.
And I agree, dear heart. When we lose faith, everything else seems to crumble. I am certain about my love for my husband and our daughters. There is nothing that I am more certain about in the world. I am also certain that God has a purpose for my life. I am not always "sure" what it is, but I am certain that it exists.
Love,
Debbie
I so agree! It's harder to do than it sounds though, don't you think? My husband grew up being told no to everything, so we have made a conscious effort to say yes to our kids, and we do say, "not now" quite often, but when we do, we sincerely try to actually do the thing that was asked of us later, and actually follow through with the promise of, "maybe later."
LOVED LOVED LOVED THIS! Found your blog thru Seriously So Blessed (your long-winded request to win the M's day contest caught my eye, thank goodness! :)
Now your link will be on my page! Going to do it right now, then am writing my own about my struggles with that black cloud called depression no one is willing to talk about! I love being real and am trying to help others when I know they don't need to feel alone!
Kudos to you! There are ENOUGH blogs about the home-made craft they made with their kids or their perfect husband who adores them. I love your raw honesty. YOU ROCK!
Am emailing you a longer note, as you dont need a novel on this!
Thanks so much! Keep up the beautiful writing!
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