Imitable

In a conversation with a friend who I consider to be everything one could possibly hope to be in life: beautiful, uber-talented, savvy, humble, wise, a mom to a gorgeous bunch of kids, married to a terrific guy, living in a beautiful, happy home filled with the constant hum of children and their friends and neighbors, who is grounded in the knowledge of who she is, and what the purpose of life is, I was surprised to learn that she doesn't necessarily see herself the way I see her. At least some of the time.

"But you're a super super" I told her. "You're the kind of woman other women look at and think 'I want to be like them'. Unlike myself", I said. "People don't look at me and think to themselves 'I hope I can be more like Blue someday. She's one of my heroes.'"

At least that is what I've always figured. That's how I see myself. I realize that some of the heroines in my life may have had a bit of a head start compared to me...they mayn't have had to spend a few decades justifying their existence and overcoming the kinds of challenges I have. Perhaps they had more time to focus on acquiring those traits and qualities that have still eluded me. I'm still hoping to get there...but it's not happening as quickly as I wish it would.

If I'm honest about it, I figure people think that I've done a good job handling the deck of cards dealt me, may consider me to be a person with pluck and tenacity, and even that I'm a genuinely nice person. But by and large I'm not someone that is imitable.

So imagine my surprise when one of the people I consider to be most imitable revealed insecurities harbored, which did nothing more than assure others that she's a human being too. That she's growing and evolving as a woman just like she always has. Could she not see herself the way others do?

Could I?

Perhaps it's all a sliding scale of comparisson. We shouldn't, but we do stack up our shortcomings against other's accomplishments and strengths. Looks, education, jobs, talents, family, opportunities, home, faith, abilities, connections...these are all things we could let ourselves become dissatisfied over.

I hope that as I continue to grow (and one day become like the imitable women I admire so much) I'll be quick to discount my standing as inferior. Less ready to stare in awe and confusion at another who has surmounted a particular trial that I still struggle with. More able to be gentle with myself.

I wish I could have a sneak peak at the Blue God sees me as, and indeed, the you He sees in all of you. What a glorious sight that would be! Have any of you ever glimpsed yourself in a new way that caught you off guard? Had that sneak peak into your true identity as a child of God? How did you happen to experience that, and in what ways did it change you, if any? Do you feel the same way sometimes? Are we all wrestling with the perfection myth?