A True Love Story

One of the happiest times in my life was in January 1988 when I was a freshman in college. A couple months earlier, This Boy I'll call Doc had asked me out on a date. At the time, Doc was 18 years old, and I knew he was headed on a 2-year mission for the Mormon church that summer. He was a nice guy, but because of these facts, I wasn’t really focused on him at first.

I think it was after our 2nd date that I mustered up the courage to tell him “I just want to be friends.” There wasn’t anything wrong with him; I just knew that getting involved with a guy who was leaving for two years wasn’t on my To Do list, and I wanted to establish that point up front. “That’s fine”, Doc assured me, after I broke the news to him.

Perhaps because it was "fine" (it really did seem fine to him, even though I knew he was attracted to me), I was free to just relax and be friends without worrying about hurting him. After all, I'd warned him up front.

Well, we became better and better friends. Spending time with Doc was unlike any guy I’d ever spent time with. It was comfortable, with zero pressure coming from him to move things to the “next level”. He shared himself with me, telling me about his past, his family, his friends, and lots of his experiences. He helped me with my struggles and encouraged all that was best in me. We were getting closer and closer to each other, and before too long I realized that I loved this guy. I didn’t know that I was in love with him, but I’d gotten to the point that I didn’t want to imagine my life without him in it.

One evening when we were together, Doc told me “I want you to read my journal.” He’d started keeping it when he was 9 years old, so it covered half his life at that point. Unlike my former journal-keeping tendencies (which involved making lots of uninteresting lists and reviewing what I’d eaten, worn, or what had happened that day/week. It’s a total yawner, I'm afraid to admit.), Doc’s journal was a collection of heart-felt experiences, deep, personal thoughts, and things that mattered to him. Near the outset, he’d written that he was "never going to let anyone read his journal", because he wanted to be “free to write without censuring himself”. So it was ALL THERE, the raw, honest feelings of a boy becoming a man. It even included his first encounter with me (!!!), and his thoughts and feelings about that. I’ll spare you the details, thanks.

But reading his record did something to me. Through this process, I felt like I came to really know his soul. And his soul was so GOOD. So pure. So honest. I believe that the minute you truly know someone it's impossible not love them, because you understand them completely. That's got to have something to do with why God is able to love us.

Anyway, that night I kind of fell in love with Doc. Reading his journal just sealed the deal. But Uh Oh! I’d already told him I just wanted to be friends! Foolish foolish Blue!

We spent every free moment together. My heart was alive in a way it never had been before. One day I heard a song on the radio that seemed to perfectly describe how I felt about our friendship, and I recorded it on a tape cassette (yowza…how dated!) and memorized it. That night I asked Doc if he could bring his boom box with him when we went on a little walk. He said sure, and met me, with that big ole' boom box in hand.

We walked across the street and wandered behind a building to a grassy field with some trees. There was over a foot of snow on the ground, but there was a circle directly beneath a thick pine tree that was clear. Here we stopped, and I put in the tape I’d made off the radio, and proceeded to sing along with it for Doc. Which took a bit of moxy, because I don’t have any great solo voice. (To this day I'm still a little embarrassed by this, but Doc is nothing if not gracious, so it's okay.)

At the end of the song, which, mind you, was about friendship of the dearest kind, Doc looked at me and asked “what does it all mean?”.

I told him “I’m not going to say it first”…because of course that’s the guy’s job. But he persisted in asking, till finally I confessed it: “Oh Doc, you know I’m in love with you.”

He was in love with me, too. As it turns out. But that fact "was a given." For him it meant we were getting married (which is why he hadn't wanted to say anything. Can you blame him?!) And in the moment he told me so, it was like my whole life, my entire future, finally came into sharp focus. Truly, the Planets Aligned. Angels rejoiced. And I’m sure Bunch & Gator were up above cheering and doing the funky chicken together. As for me, I don’t know if my heart had ever been that full. No, I'm quite certain it hadn't.

You know that scene in the movie “Back To The Future” when Marty McFly’s parents finally kiss at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, and the images of him and his siblings in the family photo he has with him solidify? That’s kind of what that night feels like to me. Because before that experience, my life was just kind of a hazy nebulous uncertainty. There were a lot of possible outcomes, and none of them were really all that desirable. But that night under the tree, my course became solid.

It’s 2010 now. This summer, in addition to his graduation from medical school, Doc and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I did indeed wait out the two years he was serving the beautiful people in Argentina (note: longest two years of MY LIFE!). We were married a month after he returned, and the rest, as they say, is history. (But there are of course many good stories along the way.)

Last night I had a dream that Doc and I were at an island resort with all our closest friends and we renewed our marriage vows in a little ceremony followed by a grand celebration. It was a very happy dream, full of love and joy, and I awoke with an awareness yet again that, despite the bumps in our road, (for every road has pot holes), I’d marry That Boy all over again. And again. And again.

Happy Valentines Day Sweetest! ♥

Grateful for:
1) That Doc has been That Friend my entire adult life
2) The life we share together
3) All the fans in my cheering section. You are the greatest.