Make This Salsa!

(BLUE NOTE: I'm reposting this with photos added, and a few slight edits. Just cause I made more and feel like it.)

...not quite an order, but it should be!

It's summer. Lots of you have gardens. The tomato is the #1 garden item in this country, and right now they're at their zenith. If you've got a garden full of tomatoes, I envy you. So you simply MUST try this recipe. And if you live near me, you need to invite me over...you know, for quality control testing purposes. I'll bring the chips (or just a spoon!)

Simply Amazing Fresh Salsa:

• tomatoes...diced. I suppose you could use canned, but fresh is always best. I don't know what variety of tomato is best. I use whatever I have on hand.
  
• tomatillos...diced. I had never before tried this yummy fruit (veggie?) before this month. WOW! I love discovering something new that I love! Easy to grow, too. Technically you could omit this and still have a yummy salsa...but if you can get hold of these delicious little treasures, you should! You definitely should. Here is a tomatillo before I peeled the thin, papery skin off. (Well, I started to before I remembered to take the picture):
  
  Here is Tomatillo, along with friends Onion and Tomato. Tomatillo is feeling nekked, and slightly embarrassed to be next to Onion who is still fully clothed.
  
  
• a sweet onion...diced (and nekked).
• cilantro...chopped
• hot pepper...diced. or you could use chili pepper spice in lieu of fresh.
• black beans...canned
• kidney beans...canned
• corn...canned
• cumin. LOVE the cumin. Load it up with cumin. Almost no such thing as too much cumin!
• garlic. i buy the jars of pre-minced. Just throw some in or mince up some fresh. I haven't ever owned a mincer, so I have yet to experiment with fresh.
  
• salt to taste. You could also try it with season salt.

Mix all ingredients in a bowl and serve with tortilla chips. Consume till sated. This is also delicious alone, if you're disinclined towards the calories from chips. Just grab a bowl and spoon and dish up! It's healthy, and vegetarian even...if you're so inclined!

(As for amounts... I don't measure. Just keep adding things till you have the ratio you prefer. I made this batch it with 5 tomatoes, 2 tomatillos cause that's all I could afford, 1/2 a large onion, 1/2 bunch of cilantro--stems removed but you can certainly leave them on, and one can each of the beans and corn. Then just season to taste with the spices and garlic.)

Enjoy!! ♥

Middle-Night

In the starlit dark of night
i run
in lane three.
it's blue,
and i am alone and free
just me, the music,
and all those beautiful constellations.
no hills or heat
the difference this makes can't be overstated.

the crescent of a yellow moon
shines above the silhouette
of giant mountains to the east
i love those mountains
they make me happy
and running in their middle-night shadow
is strangely inspiring.

the faint scent of horses
and a cool updraft
greet me on the north.
hay and earth...it's a good smell
i chase my lengthening shadow round the bend
notice my form
relax my arms, lift my head, un-tense my shoulders.

the great expanse of the valley twinkles
all along the west
it's brighter here
i grab my water as i pass the bleachers
and count out loud as i complete another lap

the south end quickly passes
i'm back along my friend east
it's my favorites stretch

twelve times i repeat the sequence
before running to my home.
down the stairs
across the creek
i pause the music to hear the water
it's one of my favorite sounds on earth
too dark to see
but i know the beauty that lies below
know it well.

today i don't hit any wall
no mental, emotional or physical barrier
i wait, expecting it, armed with positivity
to fight
but it never materialized.
it's a gift i know i won't always have,
but it was nice, this time, to run
and feel free.

Recap

Whew! What a great, crazy weekend!

My dear friend C and her son T were here for a few days visiting last week. I never know how long it will be between visits with any of my darling friends, so I cherish every moment.

Saturday was Doc's only day off this week, so he planned a little surprise date to celebrate our anniversary. He drove us to The Mall, which instantly threw me for a loop because I can count on one hand how many times I've been in a mall here in the past 2 years. He headed us straight for a little shop and told them "She has an appointment for a pedicure".

"We're getting pedicures!??!" I said to him, excited.

"No, just you." he responded.

"BUT NO! You have to get one too!" I informed him.

See, my sister had just recently taken her sweetie on a date for dual pedicures. She hadn't told him in advance what they were doing, and he'd never had anything like that before. But he ended up really enjoying it. So since Doc hasn't ever had a pedi before either, I was determined that he get one. I was ready to have him take my place if they couldn't accommodate both of us...but happily they had room.

So there we sat in awesome massage chairs next to each other and enjoyed over an hour of pampering together. I was right...he did love it. And he was right, it was the perfect anniversary gift idea for me.The two Vietnamese employees who worked on us are amazing. I left it up to them what to do on my toes, and love the final result!Afterwards, instead of getting a dessert, we walked over to See's Candies picked out a box of our favorite chocolates and truffles, which we will enjoy together every day until they're gone. We call this "having A Moment", as in "Wanna take a moment, sweetie?".

A Moment is when, (generally) with the aid of some treat or snack, we pause and enjoy a moment together. It doesn't matter how hectic a day, you can have A Moment with your honey...cause it only takes a moment! I've typed the word moment more in the past 3 sentences than in the past 3 years combined I'm sure! Anyway, the chocolates will last much longer than a dessert would have, and we'll have all those Moments together to share them, which is the best part of course. It's been torture to have that whole box just sitting there though, and not eat them during the day! I'm being good.

Sunday night Doc gave the kids special "Back to School" father's blessings. This is a sweet tradition every year the night before they start school again. I do believe it really helped Gator feel peaceful inside about the upcoming year. He was much less anxious than he had been, and has had 2 successful days so far. Yay!

When Doc woke up at 3:45 a.m. on Monday, I just knew that if I didn't run before the kids woke up and got off to school, I'd have a hard time getting out there in the heat. It just cooks my goose. So I came up with the brilliant plan of having Doc drop me off at the high school track by the freeway on ramp on his way to the hospital. At 4:30 a.m. This served the dual purpose of A) giving us a precious few moments together on our actual anniversary, and B) I wouldn't have to start my run with an uphill climb (I'm such a wimp!) and C) (did I say dual?) I could find out how far I was actually running vs. what my new little pedometer says I'm running, and D) (dual dual) It wouldn't be hot. Or bright.

Can I just say something about this plan? It was BRILLIANT! I already said that? Sorry. But it really made a difference! I was at the track in the clear, starlight dark, with a balmy breeze blowing, the music playing in my ear, and the half-moon shining down upon me. I only hit my "wall of mental pain" for about five minutes this time, and with a few tears (crying always helps, doesn't it?) it was quickly over. I discovered that I just LOVED running in the dark. There was one light shining on the track, which made a nice shadow for me to chase every time I ran along the the east side. It's little odd things like that that keep me going.

After my run, I got showered and dressed, and then the kids got up for their first day back to school. We ate breakfast, read, and then I took pictures of them before they departed on the bus with their nice, new bus driver. We're off to a great start with school!

Gator is ready to go with his new Clone Wars back pack!Bunch looks so OLD to me here! When I was her age, 6th grade was in Junior High. Here it's still in elementary school...which I'm glad about. It's Freaking me out that she's this big!

The annual sibling shot. This is the last year that
they'll ever attend the same school at the same time! Wah!

Their nice new bus driver. They're the 1st kids on the bus every day.

Later on Monday our NJ cousins and Auntie arrived for a whirlwind overnight visit. I don't know that there is anything my kids love more than cousin-time, and it was so fun to have them here for a few happy hours.

Now the house is quiet. I'm getting caught up on all the things I've put off, including this blog. And I'm off to bed early to get up for a middle-of-the-night run again. I kind of digged it! ♥

18

Eighteen years
Five hours
Sixteen minutes
ago...
Doc and I got married

Happy Anniversary* Sweetest! I ♥ You!

(*more on how we celebrated later...)

Deep Breath

Okay, I ran. Doc got home and said he'd go out with me if I could get home in time from Back to School night. So off we went, and with some good conversation and advice, I'm feeling much better thankyouverymuch! Especially for the supportive comments. You guys are the best! And today is a brand new day, off to an especially great start.

Confession

I was all flying high and pleased as punch with myself for making it to five miles last Saturday in my freaking training for this half marathon. And then what, you ask? Nothing! I haven't done anything since. Zilch. Not one measly block.

What the cupcake is that about? I just feel like holing up with my laptop and a jug of Nutella and whiling away the hours. Interspersed with popsicles. And cookies...while Father Time marches steadily on towards the big race day.

I tried to motivate myself by signing up for a free 7-day pass to a gym here, and I could just go there and maybe get inspired by the taut, shiny, hot waxed muscles all around me, but I haven't gone yet. I
feel bloated, lazy and despondant about the whole running thing. The half suddenly seems huge and insurmountable. And I'm annoyed with my all-or-nothing approach. Even my trusty "To Do" list hasn't helped. I write it down, and do everything on my list except the exercise.

Just needed to vent and admit on here that I am flailing around with this. In case anyone wants to issue some orders, commiserate or make suggestions. Or show up wearing their tennis...

Sorry for the whine (hmm. Now if I could only add some cheese...)

Imitable

In a conversation with a friend who I consider to be everything one could possibly hope to be in life: beautiful, uber-talented, savvy, humble, wise, a mom to a gorgeous bunch of kids, married to a terrific guy, living in a beautiful, happy home filled with the constant hum of children and their friends and neighbors, who is grounded in the knowledge of who she is, and what the purpose of life is, I was surprised to learn that she doesn't necessarily see herself the way I see her. At least some of the time.

"But you're a super super" I told her. "You're the kind of woman other women look at and think 'I want to be like them'. Unlike myself", I said. "People don't look at me and think to themselves 'I hope I can be more like Blue someday. She's one of my heroes.'"

At least that is what I've always figured. That's how I see myself. I realize that some of the heroines in my life may have had a bit of a head start compared to me...they mayn't have had to spend a few decades justifying their existence and overcoming the kinds of challenges I have. Perhaps they had more time to focus on acquiring those traits and qualities that have still eluded me. I'm still hoping to get there...but it's not happening as quickly as I wish it would.

If I'm honest about it, I figure people think that I've done a good job handling the deck of cards dealt me, may consider me to be a person with pluck and tenacity, and even that I'm a genuinely nice person. But by and large I'm not someone that is imitable.

So imagine my surprise when one of the people I consider to be most imitable revealed insecurities harbored, which did nothing more than assure others that she's a human being too. That she's growing and evolving as a woman just like she always has. Could she not see herself the way others do?

Could I?

Perhaps it's all a sliding scale of comparisson. We shouldn't, but we do stack up our shortcomings against other's accomplishments and strengths. Looks, education, jobs, talents, family, opportunities, home, faith, abilities, connections...these are all things we could let ourselves become dissatisfied over.

I hope that as I continue to grow (and one day become like the imitable women I admire so much) I'll be quick to discount my standing as inferior. Less ready to stare in awe and confusion at another who has surmounted a particular trial that I still struggle with. More able to be gentle with myself.

I wish I could have a sneak peak at the Blue God sees me as, and indeed, the you He sees in all of you. What a glorious sight that would be! Have any of you ever glimpsed yourself in a new way that caught you off guard? Had that sneak peak into your true identity as a child of God? How did you happen to experience that, and in what ways did it change you, if any? Do you feel the same way sometimes? Are we all wrestling with the perfection myth?

The Wrap-Up

Late Sunday night the Gator said he'd like french toast for his special birthday breakfast.

At our house we celebrate birthdays first thing in the morning. Just like Christmas, only instead of Santa, there's the birthday fairy (okay, not really on that fairy part).

But essentially, after the birthday person is in bed, their place at the table is transformed into "It's Your Special Day" land, with the birthday placemat, plate, balloons, and all the gifts fit to be seen. (unless it's yours truly. I haven't resorted to blowing up balloons for myself yet. I'd rather curl up with a good book than spend time decorating. I digress.)
Anyway, I told Gator that I didn't have bread to make french toast, and offered waffles, pancakes, cereal, eggs, smoothies, goulash&succotash, or liverwurst with earthworm guts as alternatives. He was torn between the last three options, but ultimately selected waffles. Whew!

Still, we've had a lot of waffles lately. And I, too, love me some good french toast. So I decided right then and there, I'm a modern woman. I can bake some french bread (as if those two concepts are even logical together) .

I don't bake bread. I'm a yeast flunkie in fact (a point I'd love to remedy someday, but fear for my waistline if I ever do). But for my Gator I determined to do it. In addition to completing the other 84.245 tasks I intended to finish before going to sleep.

I was up most of the night. Bread worked out, everything else got done (except number 39.573 on my list). The morning celebration was a hit. Gator was delighted with his gifts and the breakfast.
Doc was able to be there with us (he had a late morning as it was the first day of his surgery rotation...oddly the schedulers don't do orientation at 5a.m. Go figure!) and good times were had by all.

The day passed pleasantly enough. After indulging myself with a nap, I took Gator and his buddy to ToysRus...a store I positively loathe. Not watching commercial tv as a rule, my kids didn't know Mc Donalds served breakfast till last month...and I definitely don't relish them discovering all the toys that exist in the world that we can't/won't buy.

(Photoshop-free proof that I was on the premises of this, my toy nemesis)

But Gator had gotten some money from his grandparents and was dying to purchase a specific Lego Star Wars set. Of course is was a "hard to find" one (even listed that way on the Lego website. What's up with that?) So after calling all over town and checking every Walmart, Target and toy store in the county, I located The Item at a store only 25 minutes away. It took an hour in that pit of commercialism to finally escape, and we returned home to await the arrival of some friends who were flying in and planning to have dinner with us before heading on to their destination.

Gator and his friend were happily putting the new set together when I told him it was time to get ready to go to dinner. That's when things started to go down hill.

We'd had a conversation about graciousness last weekend. I know he got the concept (illustrated using Agustus Gloop and Charlie Bucket as examples), and his behavior all weekend was terrific. He's really growing, I thought happily to myself. But apparently by last night, his newfound grace was no longer tenable.

I get that he had a new toy consuming all his free brain molecules. I get that I'd dragged him away from it to do something so heinous as eat dinner. With friends from out of state. At his favorite restaurant. I get all that. But suffice to say, things deteriorated from there and the night ended badly.

I love this kid. But great balls of fire he can be so difficult. I want nothing more than to help my children develop a pervasive sense of gratitude and humility. Is that too much to ask?

Of course the first thing this morning he was all smiles and kisses upon my cheek again. Two steps forward three steps back. At least some days.

(Above is the array of stamps used to send one of the packages he got. So Fun!)

My Lucky Eight Birthday Boy

If you'll all indulge me yet again, I'm writing about my boy who turns nine at exactly 4:40 a.m. Central time.

Gator was born on 8-18 weighing just under 8 pounds (thank you!!!) Never before that day had any little boy captured my heart the way this tiny being did. Before I got pregnant the second time, I really hoped I'd haver another girl. I wanted Bunch to have a sister to go through life with. That's about as high a compliment as I can give my sisters.

But halfway through my pregnancy, I had an actual conversation with my burgeoning belly, something along the lines of I'm really sorry I've been hoping you're a girl. I promise that no matter who you are in there, I will be the best mommy I can be to you, because I love you with all my heart. In actuality it was longer than that, and we both cried a little bit. It was a bonding experience.

When the moment of truth arrived and Gator was born, I couldn't have been happier. (I love that big moment of birth surprise, so I didn't find out with either pregnancy what was cookin' in the oven.) I don't think Doc could have been happier either. I have a vivid memory of looking over and seeing him cradling his brand new son (whom I hadn't yet had a chance to cuddle with mind you. I was dealing with other issues at the time) and just watching the love flow between the two of them. It was a magical moment.

I know I'm biased. Truly, I am. But I think he's just so ridiculously cute. Heaven help the girl who dares break his heart someday. And the legions of girls whose hearts will break over him. Starting with me.

Happy Birthday Angel Boy! I hope NINE is a wonderful year for you. I still love you with all of my heart, just like I promised! ♥

PS: If you'd like to make someone's day, you're invited to leave a birthday wish for Gator on this post!

Addendum to My Foray Into Running

Yesterday Doc was between rotations (yay!) and being thus unoccupied, he went running with me. We ran for one solid hour...without walking. We didn't manage to start till 11:15 a.m., so we were running at high noon with the sun blazing in a cloudless blue sky overhead. But thanks to his companionship, I RAN FIVE MILES! FIVE. CINCO. 五. Vijf. Cinq. Fünf. Πέντε. Cinque.

And yes, I hit that wall at about 25 minutes into it when I just wanted to cry and gnash my teeth and I felt overwhelmed and emotionally wrought and like I'd been duped into this whole 1/2 marathon training thing, and that I'd bitten off more than I could chew and should have started out with a goal of running a 5K first what the Zeus was I thinking?

But somehow it faded after a while (and truth be told I did cry a little bit), and the end wasn't as bad as the middle. It's good to know that this is what happens to me, because knowing will help me get through it. Kind of like when you're PMS and your emotions start swinging all over like a monkey in a jungle 'cause those hormones are pumping faster than Iguassu Falls...just knowing why you're miserable can help you get through it. (Sorry about the description guys!)

We were kind of lame for not bringing Swedish Fish or Cinnamon Gummy Bears with us to suck on. I had some in the car but it didn't cross our minds till after the run. We did have water, but I'll definitely be bringing a little sugar boost in the future. It was hot, but thankfully lots of people had their sprinklers running, and I hope no one begrudged me the bit'o water I carried off with me as I ran through them. Keeping cool is key for me, and I live for sprinklers.

I didn't have pain while running, nor were my lungs freaking and I didn't get a stitch in my side. My legs felt wobbly for a few hours afterwards, and the outside of my right knee is a little sore today. I'm trying to stretch it...hoping it's not an injury. But to have done it pain-free yesterday is really happy for me.

Doc kept reminding me that I was doing something really momentous. That for years I've had a mental barrier to making regular exercise a part of my life. That I was breaking down strongly fortified walls in my mind, and freeing myself to reach and grow. That I was doing something GREAT for my body, and that I'd feel so good afterwards, blah blah blah. He really could be an excellent therapist if the whole Doctor thing doesn't work out. His encouragement was so helpful, it truly made all the difference. He has promised he'll try to go with me on my long run with me every Saturday if he can, but his surgery rotation starts tomorrow, which is renowned as the most grueling of all the rotations so it may not happen in the next six weeks. I just hope I can make it.

I can't believe I ran Five Miles! As lame as it sounds, five just seems ridiculously far to me. My sister and I were talking last night and she couldn't believe I'd never run that far before. Apparently she has this inflated opinion of me or something, but the fact is, in junior high I ran the 50 meter dash, one leg of the relay and did shot put, high jump and long jump. Haven't been into track and field since then. So yeah, five miles...lifetime personal best.

This Saturday I'm supposed to run SIX. Sink me...