Pirate Birthday Party

Seven Year Old Pirate Birthday Party

Ahoy Me Hearties! If ye be among the unfortunate land lubbers who're regularly terrorized by pirates, this here party may be just the thing to appease the rotten little bilge rats.

First, every (dis)respectable Pirate needs to look the part. Builds confidence.

For the best selection, this here Lassy recommends you pay a visit to yer local thrift store. Find stripy shirts and pants that you can cut off all jaggedy-like for your Scalleywag. Trim around the neck opening, if ye have a mind to. An eye patch, bandanna and sash'll complete the ensemble, bonus doubloons to you if you can scrounge up a parrot. Hoop earring optional. This Captain has a spare outfit for more dressy occasions.
Every year I tell my favorite deck hand "all ye'll be getting fer yer birthday from me is toilet paper.

He wails and hollers and gnashes his teeth. And then he always threatens to just throw it out without opening it.

I reply, "what if it's a roll of treasure? You wouldn't even check to see if it's treasure?"

He tells me there is no such thing as a roll like that.

This year I taped a play $100 bill around a roll of TP, and wrapped it up. Ye got te make good on them promises. Keeps yer crew in line and mindful-like!

He pretended to be insulted, but secretly me knows it was his favorite gift. It certainly wasn't his new shipAfter being terrorized into giving him all our treasure, we could really use a few pieces of eight ourselves. Ye can take pity on us.

Here is the booty haul from all his adoring mateys. No party is complete without some hearty Pirate Grub & Grog.

When serving yer crew, be sure to use phrases such as Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bilgewater. If they run away screamin', it just means more for you.

For our gathering, we made Pirate-shaped Pasta Mac&Cheese...a staple on board our ship...once the rats have all been eaten. And Ships Cook also concocted a green sea-water Jello, with gummy sea creatures swimming in it. A fresh catch of Goldfish Crackers made for aplenty good snackin'. Amazingly it vanished faster than treasure sinking in the briny deep.

A Proper Pirate Party clearly needs a Worthy Cake.

For Captain Gator's birthday, this Kitchen Wench concocted up a treasure chest, laden with all manner of gems, jewels and coins. . When I finally carried the cake out onto the poop deck, the gasp from the crew was audible. They came running from the prow so fast it's a wonder not-a-one of them ended up as shark bait.Cap'n Gator was beyond excited. This chest was created by baking a 9x13" of Cap'n G's favorite cake flavor du jour.

• Once cooled, I cut it and stacked it up high to create the base. Of course you frost between layers for "glue".
  
• I cut a piece of cardboard for the "lid", and covered it with foil.
• Frost the sides of the cake with chocolate.
  
• Frost the covered card board with chocolate and stick it to the back of the cake with frosting. You might want to also do the words and trim before attaching it to the chest.
• I had to push some toothpicks through the cardboard into the back of the chest to add stability.
  
• Frost the top of the cake with gold frosting, using the same to create the lock, hinges etc.
• Now it's time to load on the treasure. Candy necklaces, chocolate coins, ring pops, colorful little Skittles or M&M-type dealios. Heap it up...this is no time for stinginess!
  
• Stick a dagger in it for good measure. I admit to pilfering Cap'n Gator's for this cake. He was mighty happy to see it again.
  
• Sink Me! That'd be the best-lookin' treasure I ever laid eyes on! And twas so delicious, methinks I'll have to walk the plank a few times tonight!
  
• If you want to embellish the serving platter with pirate toys, cutlass, cat-o-nine-tales, etc. feel free. Whatever floats yer pirate's boat!
  

No Proper Pirate Party is complete without a Skeleton Pirate to raise a ruckus and do battle against. We captured a few slaves and forced them to help us keep things running. The Sea Dog pouring the grog was especially diligent, which is more than can be said for the Sorry Salts lazying around on the deck. Piñata.
This poor piece of sharkbait was filled with plastic sea creatures, snakes, crawlies, and enough pirate booty candy to satisfy all the Brethren of the Coast. Be sure to yell Gang Way! when they start swingin' their belaying pin. Sharkbait's head got a wee bit addled before he was knocked overboard by one of the deck hands and paid a visit to Davy Jones' Locker! At least Dead Men Tell No Tales! It's best to include all the little pirates in your life...after all, they are the future. Shiver Me Timbers, the party ended up being right ship shape. The invitations were unfortunately lost at sea, but I can describe them for ye.

• Print yer Party Info on brown or antiqued paper
• Scorch the edges with fire to give it that aged look. Watch yer fingers!
  
• Slip a gold coin in the envelope as passage to board your ship.
• You could put your Party Invitation in an old root beer grog bottle and toss it out to sea...or just onto a doorstep.
• You could write the party details on random pieces of plastic (cut up beach ball etc) with permanent marker. Put this into a zip lock bag with a little sand and add blue-tinted water and a tiny shell or two.

Well, Buccaneer, tis' about time to weigh anchor and crawl up into me Crow's Nest. Have a swashbucklin' good time! Yo-Ho-Ho!